Dead Diablos

Please find a picture of a guy in a redsuit with a pitchfork lying dead in a gutter. That would be a good representation of my team this year--or, better, maybe, just find some guys with torn ACLs, brusied thighs, etc. and put them on a bench as they watch a bunch of wannabes play football. Yeah, karma caught up to me, but maybe, just maybe, the Diablos, like Lucifer himself, can't simply be killed off that easily. Perhaps I'll be back, racking up my first week in Week 11 or 12 and wrecking someone's playoff chances. So, take pity on the Diablos, lest hubris leads you to fall victim to their might (assuming they ever recover).

But seriously, folks--the Bills and Lions are 3-0 and yours truly couldn't beat a fanstasy team organized by a first grader. What gives??

Run, Strike Team, Run!

Man, I like the pattern we've got going here!  Someone trash talks their opponent the week before their game, and they win!

Let's see --- Aaron's team lacks healthy, qualified running backs.  AND they lost Kenny Britt for the year!  Oh noes!

BTW Pete, I got your Buffalo/Hippo motif right here:

See, what you've got here is your basic hippo trembling in fear as it is surrounded by many mighty buffalo.  Kind of how your team trembled in fear and --- what was it you said?  Oh right.  They 'dropped a load' in they face of the mighty Ninjas, led as they were by Buffalo's mighty Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Fly, Hippos! Fly!

Oh wait, Pete is a little short of healthy, qualified wide receivers.  Yet somehow, he's managed to make it to 2-0, including a lovely victory over the 0-2 Diablos last week (well done, Pete!).  Anyway, it seems that Pete's pre-emptive mockery served him well last week, and since I play him this week, I thought I'd give it a try.

By the way, congrats to Jason on taking out Jody last week.  Now if Adam will just take care of Aaron and Kubicek will take care of Taylor (wait a minute; am I rooting for Kubicek?), then I'll beat Pete b a healthy margin and assume my proper place at the top of the league.

Run Diablos! Run!

Oh wait, Kubicek is a little short of healthy, qualified running backs. Hmmm. Could be trouble for the little devils.

Week 1: The First Shall Be First; the Contenders Shall Be Toast

I had an email exchange with Taylor earlier tonight, and he pointed out something I hadn't really noticed.  Jody won his opening 2011 game in convincing fashion, beating the living daylights out of Los Diablos --- I'm sure all of you enjoyed that one as much as I did --- but there was more to the weekend than that.

In my 4 years in the league, only 4 teams have played in the title game.  The Psychotic Ninjas (of course), playing in and winning 3 years in a row, until last year; the Puttheads, who lost 2 of those 3 title games to the Ninjas, then won last year; Merrill's Marauders, who lost to the Ninjas in 2009, and Los Diablos, who lost to the Puttheads last year.  So by that measure, the Ninjas, Puttheads, Marauders and Los Diablos have been the best teams in the league over the last four years.

As noted above, Los Diablos had their asses handed to them by the Puttheads.  But due to some wormhole in the time-space continuum or something, Ninjas also lost to Yac Attack, and Merrill lost to (*snicker*) KEVIN.  So not only did Jody make a bold first step on the road to repeating, but his three closest competitors are all headed in the wrong direction.  Some of them drastically so (*cough* Kubicek *cough*).

And Kevin, what up, man?  You lay the smackdown on Merrill, and you wait for me to point it out?  That's messed up, dude.

Anyway, we all know the Ninjas will return to their dominant ways, but as for Los Diablos and Merrill, well, I just don't know.

Also, note that our newbies struggled in their first games, but I'm sure they'll get their feet under them soon --- but maybe not this weekend.  Nick has to play Ninjas this weekend, so he'll be falling to 0-2, and Levi has to go up against Strike Team, who tied with Jody for high score of the week!  Go, Strike Team!

Predictions from the Commish

I have reviewed the results of our just-completed draft, and have come to the conclusion that the best 2 teams in the league (after the Psychotic Ninjas, of course) are Suspended Atomnation and Strike Team.  If we assume Nick or Levi sneak into the playoffs by virtue of beginners' luck (remember my first year in the league, guys?  I know Taylor does.  Good times), then at least we'll have 75% new blood in the playoffs.

I still win the title, of course.

Other bold predictions for the season to come:

• Packers defeat Patriots 38-36 in the Super Bowl (see previous post).
• Josh Freeman will finish in the top 5 among fantasy QBs (check my roster).
• Mike Williams south will finish in the top 5 among fantasy WRs (now check my roster again).
• Delone Carter will finish the year as the Colts' starting RB (now check my roster again).
• The Colts will fail to make the playoffs for the first time in 136 years.
• The Lions will win a playoff game --- and so will the Rams.
• And in TTFFL, the Psychotic Ninjas will reclaim their rightful position as league champions, once again while failing to win a week until the playoffs.

Pack to Repeat in 2011

As some of you may be vaguely aware, Kubicek and I have made the same bet every year since the Reagan administration.  At the start of every NFL season, we each pick a team and bet a certain amount of money.  If one guy picks the Super Bowl winner, the other guy pays.  In more than 25 years of such nonsense, this bet has only been won twice, both times by myself (of course).  I had the 49ers to win SB XVI, and I had the Packers last year.

(There have also been two near misses.  Kubicek had the Rams in SB XXXVI, the year the Patriots claimed their first victory, and I had the Patriots in their near-perfect season in 2007).

This year, I confidently predict that the Packers will repeat and the champs of the NFL, claiming victory over the New England Patriots.  I forsee the game going to the line, with Brady driving the Patriots to a potential game-tying score in the final minute on a 4-yard swing pass to Danny Woodhead.  But the 2-point conversion attempt will fail, and the Packers will hold on to claim victory 38-36 --- and once more Kubicek's money will be mine.

And should anyone care, Kubicek picked the Iggles.