Well, This is Boring

With two weeks left to go in the 2011 TTFFL regular season, the playoff picture is --- really, really straightforward, actually.  Surprisingly, there is almost nothing interesting about it.

There are only 4 teams in the league with a record above .500: YAC Attack, who clinched a playoff spot last week, then the surprising River Horses at 8-4, and finally Strike Team and Suspended Atomnation at 7-4-1.  Four teams above .500, 4 playoff spots, pretty easy to do the math on this one.

There are only two other teams in contention for a playoff spot --- not surprisingly, those would be the only two teams in the league AT .500.  Specifically, Leviathans and Screaming Eagles, in that order.  Each of these teams could, theoretically, sneak into the playoffs, but it would require:

1. Victories in both of their remaining games.  This would seem to be within Levi's grasp, with remaining matchups against Strike Team and Golden Graham's, but rather more of a stretch for Jason, who faces the neglectful Team Datanator next week before running into the buzzsaw that is Taylor week 14.  Then again, Taylor proved to actually be mortal this week with the loss of Fred Jackson, so never say never.
2. One of River Horses, Strike Team or Suspended Atomnation losing both of their remaining games.  Again, we should never say never --- and Levi actually controls his (and Jason's) destiny a little bit with a remaining game against Strike Team.

Actually, if it shakes out that it's River Horses who lose both remaining games and one of Levi or Jason wins out, then it would come down to a question of who scored the most points on the season.  But if Strike Team, River Horses and Suspended Atomnation all win either one of their remaining games, then the only remaining question concerning the playoffs is the seeding.

So.  Not too much in the way of intrigue, etc.

On a completely unrelated note, Your Esteemed Commissioner will miss the playoffs for the first time ever.  What do you guys do when you don't make the playoffs?  Do you have a potluck or something?  Do you all, like, get together on game day and watch the cool teams win?

Update: Oops, my bad.  Technically, Merrill still has a shot at playoff glory, too.  He needs to win out --- with victories over Taylor and Aaron to finish the season, good luck with that --- and finish 7-6-1, and he needs Aaron and Adam to both lose both of their games, AND he needs Levi and Jason to both lose at least once.  So, not real likely.  On the other hand, it would be pretty epic if it happened, so I'm going to cheer him on!  That's right, Merrill!  I'm rooting for ya, buddy!  

Playoff Scenarios: Week 12

Here's where things stand with 3 weeks remaining in the 2011 TTFFL season:

Ticket Stamped
Congratulations to Taylor on being the first to clinch a playoff spot this season!  There is a theoretical possibility that Aaron could sneak past him for the #1 seed but --- ain't gonna happen.

Sitting Pretty
Next comes Aaron at 7-3-1, then the surprising Hippos at 7-4, and Adam at 6-4-1.  Strike Team will clinch with a win and a Leviathans loss.  Orion River Horses need a combination of 3 wins or Leviathans losses over the final three weeks (next week's tilt with the Leviathans should go a long way to clearing up the playoff picture for both teams).  Adam just needs to make sure his win total meets or exceeds that of Leviathans in the final three weeks.

Knockin' on the Door
Leviathans have the best shot at breaking into the top four.  Ninjas and Eagles aren't out of it yet --- and could theoretically still get in even with another loss --- but likely need to win out to have a decent shot at making it.

Still Kickin'
Marauders, Team Datanator, and the defending champion Puttheads still have a pulse, but it would require serious strangeness among the top 7 teams for any of these guys to sneak in.  Even if they win out to finish the season, the odds are still against them.

Thanks for Playing
This week, Kevin joins Kubicek in regrouping for next year.  Kubicek only faces similarly down and out teams the rest of the season, but Kevin might be able to play the spoiler against Levi in week 14 (you can take it easy this week though, Kevin.  No reason to try to be a hero).  Look at the positive side, guys: One of you might get an exciting new team name and avatar to play with next year!  

If the Playoffs Began Today . . .

Okay.  I'm going to try to remain professional here, and write an entire blog entry without even mentioning my loss to Taylor last weekend.  But, I mean, damn!  Usually, you score 79 points in this league, you win the game, you know what I mean?  And as for Aaron Rodgers --- well.  Here's an idea.  Next year, instead of actually drafting players and playing a full season, we'll just come up with some really groovy algorithm for setting a draft order (I know how much the old-timers miss the Dow Jones method) --- it will have to be really fun and complicated and shiny, because that's pretty much all we're going to do --- and whoever ends up with the first pick will be declared league champion, and we can all just mail our checks to him.  Because whoever ends up with Rodgers next year is definitely making the playoffs, and has about an 80% chance of taking the title.

Brutal.

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, keeping it professional.  So I'm not going to talk about my 93-79 loss to Taylor, which would have been a 94-93 victory if Tom Brady had decided to throw to Aaron Hernandez as much as he threw to Rob Gronkowski.  Stupid Tom Brady.

Anyway.  Professional.  Roddy goddamn White.

Professional.

So, with 4 games left in the season, here's how things stack up for possible playoff spots.  As always, remember that no matter how far out of it you are, there's still a $15 prize for the top point-scorer every week, even during the playoffs.  So everyone keep working to field your best lineup every week.

Ticket Stamped
Believe it or not, no one, not even the mighty YAC Attack, has clinched a playoff spot yet.  Thanks to a multitude of 6-win teams, there is still a theoretical possibility that Taylor can finish 9-5 and be sitting at home for the playoffs.  That would be hysterically funny, actually, but not especially likely, especially considering that given Taylor's huge lead in total points scored, the only way it could realistically happen would be for the Trumbores to battle to a tie in week 12, and then win all the rest of their games.

Actually, I kind of hope that does happen.  It would be epic.  Only, Taylor's not going to lose again, so there's no point in thinking about it.

Sitting Pretty
Obviously YAC Attack has the inside track at 9-1.  Next come Suspended Atomnation, Strike Team, and the Orion River Horses.  The Leviathans are actually outside the playoff bubble at 5th place right now, but I'll include them here as the final 6-win team.  Of course, 4 weeks is still enough time for at least one of these teams to tank, and the schedule is going to help them out with Suspended Atomnation playing Strike Team next week, the Trumbores beating each other up in week 12, and the Leviathans taking on Strike Team in week 13.  And on top of that, Taylor should help keep things interesting by likely handing out defeats to Leviathans and Suspended Atmonation the next two weeks.  So while the teams at this level might be 'Sitting Pretty', now is not the time to get complacent.

Knocking on the Door
The next tier of teams includes the Screaming Eagles in 6th place, Team Datanator a surprising 7th place (here's a hint, Nick: Roy Williams sucks), the defending champion Puttheads in 8th place, and Your Esteemed Commissioner in 9th place (Larry Fitzgerald for 19 fantasy points?  Really?  Against the 'Dream Team'?  With John Skelton at QB?  Really?).  Needless to say, all the teams in this band need to win out, and then they need help from somewhere if they're going to snag the 4th seed and the honor of being devoured alive by Taylor in the first round of the playoffs.

Still Kickin'
Continuing on down the line, we have Merrill in 10th place, still a half-game ahead of Kevin and his Golden Grahams in spite of the Grahams sweeping the season series against the Marauders last week.  Neither of these guys have much left to play for, though I'm sure Kevin's two wins over Merrill this year will keep him warm during those long winter months.  And Merrill, well --- he can take comfort in the knowledge that he's still a half-game ahead of Kevin.  For now.  Looks like the Tebow trade is working out for Kevin, who might even have a chance to play spoiler the rest of the season now that Chris Johnson (or as I like to call him: CJ0KE) is maybe finally waking up.  With remaining games against both members of the Trumbore family, Kevin could still have something to say about the playoff picture --- just take it easy week 12, huh, big guy?

Thanks for Playing
Just one team in this category this week: Despite their week 10 win, Los Diablos are officially eliminated from the playoffs, thanks to the week 12 Trumbore family matchup, which means there's no way Los Diablos can get in front of both of them.  But like Kevin and his sweep of Merrill in 2011, Kubicek can cling to his week 8 spanking of the Psychotic Ninjas and know that for one week --- and only one week in 2011 --- Los Diablos was the best team in TTFFL.  Any hopes of salvaging more than that pretty much went out the window with Matt Schaub.

Running the Table

The Crushening begins now!!! Clean sweep the rest of the season, baby!!!

Okay, I'll admit, this season has not been the Ninjas' finest.  While I've managed to rack up more wins than Los Diablos, I sort of gave up any standing I had to trash them after they rolled me by 35 points last week.

Funny thing about that.  Last week I played 0-7 opponents in two different leagues, lost both games.  For some people, that might be a humbling experience.

But for the Ninjas, this is a new week, with new opportunities for victory!  Sure, I may be in 10th place now, but I'm only 2 games out of playoff contention with 6 to go.  Sunday is the first game of the rest of the season, and the Ninjas are not dead, merely resting.  Sure, I may have been dead wrong in my preseason predictions that Josh Freeman and Mike Williams would finish the season as top-5 fantasy guys (neither of them are on my roster any longer) --- and for that matter, I may have been wrong about the Rams winning a playoff game, though that's still theoretically possible.  But in spite of recent overwhelming evidence that I don't know what I'm talking about, I am nevertheless going to make one more bold prediction today:

The Ninjas will go 6-0 the rest of the way, and claim a playoff spot for the fifth consecutive year, and ultimately win their fourth consecutive* league title!!!  The pieces are all in place, and the bye weeks can't trip me up any longer.  Philip Rivers will put up the elite numbers he always does in November and December.  Darren McFadden will be back and dominate the league in rushing.  Jahvid Best will be back week 10 and be a top-10 fantasy RB the rest of the way.  DeMarco Murray will continue to be an every-week fantasy starter even after Felix Jones is 'healthy' again (as if he ever is).  Roddy White will return to his elite form, Aaron Hernandez will be the top 1 or 2 TEs the rest of the way, and either Eric Decker or Jonathon Baldwin (possibly both) will prove to be an every-week starter.

Be afraid, Merrill.  And Taylor.  And everyone else who faces the Ninja the rest of the season.  Be very afraid.

* 'Consecutive' here means back-to-back-to-back-to-back, except for the fact that Jody actually won last year.