I will be posting my usual end-of-season nonsense sometime between now and the Super Bowl. But I want to close the books on the accounting side of things now. Jason and Paul won some money in our couples' league, so in order to keep all of the accounting information in one place . . . .
Sadly, I owe lots and lots of money to Kubicek. The full total is: $300 for the title, $75 for Battlin' Sweethearts winnings ($50 for highest couples' total, plus $25 to his wife Alyce for trouncing him in the consolation game), plus $15 for the most points in week 6. All told, that's $300 + $75 + $15 = $390.
Plus, Kubicek and I have one other side bet still going, so I'll keep his tab open until that gets resolved.
Jason: $150 (Battlin' Sweethearts league champion), plus $45 for the most points in weeks 1, 14 and 15, plus $10 carried over from 2013. $150 + $45 + $10 = $205.
$110 will be applied to 2015 dues for TTFFL and Battlin' Sweethearts. I need to know where to send the check for the remaining $95.
Mex: $120 for finishing second, plus $45 for most points in weeks 9, 12 and 13. $120 + $45 = $165. $60 will be applied to 2015 dues for TTFFL. I need to know where to send the check for the remaining $105.
Levi: $60 for winning the consolation game (3rd place), pus $15 for most points in week 2. $60 + $15 = $75. $60 will be applied to 2015 dues for TTFFL. The remaining $15 will be applied to Pete's account, and Pete will pay Levi $15.
Merrill: $30 for most points in weeks 3 and 11. Will be applied to 2015 TTFFL dues.
Kevin: $30 for most points in weeks 4 and 16. Will be applied to 2015 TTFFL dues.
Taylor: $15 or most points in week 5. Will be applied to 2015 TTFFL dues.
Adam: $15 for most points in week 7. Will be applied to 2015 TTFFL dues.
Aaron: $15 for most points in week 8. Will be applied to 2015 TTFFL dues.
Pete: $15 for most points in week 10, plus a $15 credit for 2015 in exchange for paying Levi the final $15 he is owed from 2014. $30 will be applied to 2015 TTFFL dues.
Jody and YEC: Not a damn thing.
I was stunned to discover that we had a different high-point-scorer during each of the first ten weeks of the season --- which is crazy! I don't know if that means the we really have a fairly balanced league in terms of skill, or if it was just a random bit of luck. But it was still kind of interesting.
Please review the accounting under your name, and let me know if you think I've made a mistake. Also, let me know if you would like to receive full payment of your winnings rather than have all or part of them applied to 2015 league dues. If I don't hear any objections, this listing of 2014 accounting will be considered final.
Keep an eye out for final 2014 year nonsense sometime soon!
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12/28/2014: Updated to Levi and Pete's totals to reflect the way Levi got his last $15 without my mailing him a check.
12/30/2014: Check for $105 mailed to Mex.
2/3/2015: Check for $180 mailed to Kubicek (go, Patriots!), and check for $95 mailed to Jason.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Clowns
For the most part, the playoff teams in the first round performed like a clown act.
Okay. You guys have me seriously reconsidering the playoff format for next year. Maybe instead of playing a 14-game season to determine the four best teams, and then staging a 2-week playoff, maybe we'll just award the title to the guy with the best clown makeup. Or maybe we can run around shouting 'Beagle, beagle, beagle!!!' while wearing various muppet characters as hats. Wait, I know. You can all come out to Minnesota, where I live, and we can go sledding down this big hill that has a lake at the bottom. Each of you guys can sled down the hill one at a time, and when you get close to the bottom, I'll smash a big hole in the ice so that one by one you can sail into the ice-cold water at 60 MPH. The winner will be the guy who stays in the lake the longest without dying.
Seriously, though, why did we even play this season? After performing well enough to make the playoffs, the top three seeds --- Levi, Adam and Mex --- all took a dive (metaphorically, not literally), and stunk up the joint, scoring a combined 122 points.
They were SO bad, they were actually outscored by EVERY OTHER SINGLE TEAM IN THE LEAGUE, including the ones competing in the Toilet Bowl (except not Taylor, obviously). Yes, either Levi or Adam will take the 3rd-place prize of $60, and Mex might even win the whole thing, but at the moment, it sure doesn't seem like they deserve it.
I should take time out from the rant to congratulate Kubicek for being the one playoff team to actually play like one, whipping Levi by a score of 79-42. So the finals will match up Mex's 9-game winning streak against Kubicek's actual competence. Kubicek is installed as an 8-point favorite, and I have to give him props for having the stones to actually start a Jaguars RB in the finals. No matter how the game eventually is decided, he has my respect for that move.
There are really only two other game anyone cares about (if that many). In the battle for the 2015 #1 pick, yours truly faces off against the Hollow Graham's for no doubt the final time. Sure, I'll have more games against Jody in the future, but I doubt his team will have that name. I'm guessing that the instant the Broncos/Bengals game is over Monday night, Jody changes his team name back to the Oddly-Shaped Golf Clubs, or whatever the hell he wants to call it.
It's been 2 years since Jody got to name his own team, so I've forgotten what the 'real' name is.
And finally, there's the Toilet Bowl, featuring Strike Team against the Golden Graham's. Wouldn't it be ironic if, after 2 years with Jody as the league goat, Kevin finally had to take a turn?
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
The Final Four
The Contenders
First off, I want to thank Levi for making the playoff race more interesting than it would be otherwise. After a 7-0 start, he dropped 5 of his last 7 and 4 of his last 5, but still managed to clinch the #1 seed in the playoffs. Heck, he even had room to spare; he would have squeaked in as the #3 seed even if he had dropped his week 13 game against Kevin.
But, you know, it was Kevin, so. Not much chance he would lose that one. But the playoffs start this week, so Levi had better get back to his winning ways, or he'll have nothing to show for the season but the ninth overall pick in next year's draft.
At the #2 seed is Suspended Atomnation, who actually WON 4 of his past 5 games, with the one loss coming at the hands of yours truly. The good news is that Adam got hot at the right time of the season; the bad news is that he's lost to the Ninjas twice this year, which proves that he could go down at any time.
Of course the hottest team in the league is AirMex, currently riding an 8-game winning streak, and playing his best game right now. He's won his last 3 games by margins of 20+ points, and his opponent in the first round of the playoffs is the eminently beatable Adam.
On the other hand, there was another team, back in 2012, who rode into the playoffs on a NINE game winning streak to grab the #1 seed. That owner lost both games in the playoffs and ended up with nothing to show for his amazing streak --- other than the ninth overall draft pick in 2013.
Finally, there's Los Diablos, who recovered from a mid-season 4-game losing streak to snag the #4 seed. And unlike Mex, who's been winning games by comfortable margins, two of Los Diablos' wins have been relative squeakers, like last week's 57-45 win over the River Horses, and his 37-36 week 11 win over his first-round opponent, the Leviathans.
The Battle for the #1 Pick
Four teams finished the year at 7-7, and appropriately, none of them made the playoffs. So instead of fighting for the title, they will instead fight for the #1 pick in the 2015 draft. Each of these guys was close to claiming the last playoff spot: If Merrill had started Nick Novak week 12 against Kevin; if Mason Crosby had missed a field goal instead of a PAT last week when Jody played Aaron; if Taylor had managed to win even ONE of his last four games; or if the Ninjas had managed to win their week 4 matchup against Los Diablos.
None of these guys are pushovers, and they're going to get the top four picks in next year's draft. So I'm going to make my first bold prediction for 2015 right now: The 2015 champion will be one of these four teams.
Except not Taylor, obviously.
Fighting for their Good Name:
Jody and YEC finished 6th and 8th during the regular season, thus putting an end to the Past Champions' curse. But Pete and Aaron still fell into the loser's bracket --- the second consecutive year for Aaron and the THIRD consecutive year for Pete --- so I guess they just suck or something. Joining Strike Team and the River Horses in the battle to avoid last place will be the Screaming Eagles and Golden Graham's.
An interesting plot line to watch: there's a chance Levi will get to name his dad's team next year! And I'm sure we would all be excited to see that one!
For teams in the loser's brackets, remember that you're not just playing for draft position and/or to avoid losing your team name, but the weekly prize for high-point scorer continues through week 16. So good luck in week 15, everyone!
First off, I want to thank Levi for making the playoff race more interesting than it would be otherwise. After a 7-0 start, he dropped 5 of his last 7 and 4 of his last 5, but still managed to clinch the #1 seed in the playoffs. Heck, he even had room to spare; he would have squeaked in as the #3 seed even if he had dropped his week 13 game against Kevin.
But, you know, it was Kevin, so. Not much chance he would lose that one. But the playoffs start this week, so Levi had better get back to his winning ways, or he'll have nothing to show for the season but the ninth overall pick in next year's draft.
At the #2 seed is Suspended Atomnation, who actually WON 4 of his past 5 games, with the one loss coming at the hands of yours truly. The good news is that Adam got hot at the right time of the season; the bad news is that he's lost to the Ninjas twice this year, which proves that he could go down at any time.
Of course the hottest team in the league is AirMex, currently riding an 8-game winning streak, and playing his best game right now. He's won his last 3 games by margins of 20+ points, and his opponent in the first round of the playoffs is the eminently beatable Adam.
On the other hand, there was another team, back in 2012, who rode into the playoffs on a NINE game winning streak to grab the #1 seed. That owner lost both games in the playoffs and ended up with nothing to show for his amazing streak --- other than the ninth overall draft pick in 2013.
Finally, there's Los Diablos, who recovered from a mid-season 4-game losing streak to snag the #4 seed. And unlike Mex, who's been winning games by comfortable margins, two of Los Diablos' wins have been relative squeakers, like last week's 57-45 win over the River Horses, and his 37-36 week 11 win over his first-round opponent, the Leviathans.
The Battle for the #1 Pick
Four teams finished the year at 7-7, and appropriately, none of them made the playoffs. So instead of fighting for the title, they will instead fight for the #1 pick in the 2015 draft. Each of these guys was close to claiming the last playoff spot: If Merrill had started Nick Novak week 12 against Kevin; if Mason Crosby had missed a field goal instead of a PAT last week when Jody played Aaron; if Taylor had managed to win even ONE of his last four games; or if the Ninjas had managed to win their week 4 matchup against Los Diablos.
None of these guys are pushovers, and they're going to get the top four picks in next year's draft. So I'm going to make my first bold prediction for 2015 right now: The 2015 champion will be one of these four teams.
Except not Taylor, obviously.
Fighting for their Good Name:
Jody and YEC finished 6th and 8th during the regular season, thus putting an end to the Past Champions' curse. But Pete and Aaron still fell into the loser's bracket --- the second consecutive year for Aaron and the THIRD consecutive year for Pete --- so I guess they just suck or something. Joining Strike Team and the River Horses in the battle to avoid last place will be the Screaming Eagles and Golden Graham's.
An interesting plot line to watch: there's a chance Levi will get to name his dad's team next year! And I'm sure we would all be excited to see that one!
For teams in the loser's brackets, remember that you're not just playing for draft position and/or to avoid losing your team name, but the weekly prize for high-point scorer continues through week 16. So good luck in week 15, everyone!
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Week 14 Playoff Scenarios
The playoff picture cleared up a bit after week 13, when The Leviathans and Suspended Atomnation were the first teams to clinch playoff spots --- helps a bit when you win a game, doesn't it Levi? Unfortunately, clarity is not such a good thing for the Marauders, Golden Graham's and Ninjas, who aren't officially eliminated yet --- but who all face long odds of participating in the postseason.
But that's not a problem, is it Han?
But that's not a problem, is it Han?
Anyway, here's the usual team-by-team breakdown heading into the final week of the season:
Leviathans: Clinch the #1 seed with a win, unless Adam also wins and outscores Levi by 59 points or more. Take the #2 seed with a loss and Atomnation win --- or Atomnation outscoring them by 59+ points.
Suspended Atomnation: As noted above, can claim the #1 seed with a win and by outscoring The Leviathans by 59+ points. A win without an insane number of points will give Adam the #2 seed. A loss also gives Adam the #2 seed, unless Mex also wins and outscores Adam by 24 or more points, in which case he takes the #3 seed.
~ AirMex ~: Proud owner of an INSANE 7-game win streak, AirMex is ON FIRE! They're the hottest team in the league right now, coming off a 92-54 win over the league-leading Leviathans and a 104-84 win over Merrill.
Mex can grab the #2 seed with a win and an Atomnation loss if Mex outscores Adam by 24+ points. Otherwise, a win puts sets up Mex as the #3 seed. With a loss, Mex could end up anywhere between the #3 seed to the #5 seed (and out of the playoffs), depending on whether Taylor and Jody win, and on how many points they score.
Air Apparent, Hollow Graham's, Los Diablos: There's a fair chance at least one of these guys will win their matchup this weekend. If only one team gets the W, that team is in the playoffs. If two or three of them get wins, the final two playoff spots will be determined by points and whether Mex wins his game.
In the unlikely event that ALL THREE of these teams lose this weekend to finish 7-7, the door is opened for Merrill to claim the final playoff spot. Speaking of which . . . .
Merrill's Marauders: The ONLY way the Marauders get into the playoffs is if Taylor, Jody and Kubicek all lose, and Merrill wins. Technically we need to be concerned about points, but since Merrill leads all of these guys by 63 points or more, that's not likely to be an issue.
Merrill is also at the tipping point, in that his chances of winning the title are roughly the same as his chances of slipping into the losers bracket and losing the Toilet Bowl.
Golden Graham's, Psychotic Ninjas: Not technically, OFFICIALLY eliminated yet, but the path to the playoffs for either of these teams only exists in a fantasyland which can only be realized by a miracle (like, say, starting four Jonas Grays in the same week). For either of these teams to claim the #4 spot will require, AT A MINIMUM:
- A win in week 14.
- Losses by Air Apparent, Hollow Graham's and Los Diablos
- A loss by Merrill, and outscoring Taylor by 87 points, OR
- Outscoring Merrill by 150+ points.
The good news for each of these teams is that there are much more realistic scenarios which will lead them to next year's #1 overall pick. The bad news for each of these teams is that it's about equally likely that they lose the Toilet Bowl and have to play out next season using a name picked out by Levi.
Screaming Eagles, Orion River Horses: Between these two teams, , Merrill's Marauders, Golden Graham's and Psychotic Ninjas, three of them will finish in the loser's bracket. The Eagles and River Horses are guaranteed to play in the loser's bracket with a loss; they can play their way into the race for 2015's #1 pick with a win depending on whether any of the 6-7 teams lose and how the points fall.
Let's hope that at least one of the Ninjas and River Horses (okay --- the Ninjas) play their way out of the loser's bracket and avoid the past champions' curse. Speaking of which:
Strike Team: Guaranteed to start the postseason at the bottom of the loser's bracket, Aaron is still trying to recover from his 2012 TTFFL title.
Good luck everyone! I'd really love to see the Golden Graham's or Ninjas beat the odds and make the playoffs; it would be epic.
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