Welcome to the 2012 Trash Talking Fantasy Football league season. I'll be posting my usual amount of bold predictions, trash talk and other nonsense --- but mostly not until after the league draft. I don't want to give away my league-winning strategy!
(Here's a hint.)
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
2011 Year in Review
I'm sitting here watching the Niners go toe-to-toe with the Saints, and looking back on the year just finished. As usual, there were a number of surprises, and as usual, there was one team which stood head and shoulders above the rest for most of the season, but faded late. In years past, it's been the River Horses and Los Diablos; this year it was YAC Attack. Only the 2010 Puttheads managed to keep the top spot all year long.
These are my team-by-team thoughts and observations, as usual going from worst to first.
Los Diablos: HAH-hah! Will Kubicek *ever* pay off his karma debt from the 2006 season, when he won the title despite scoring practically no points? Somehow, he managed 3 wins versus 11 losses, despite scoring the 5th most points on the season. All 3 wins were picked up between weeks 8 and 11; the rest of his season was misery. The Houston Texans may be in the playoffs, but Matt Schaub and Arian Foster didn't help Los Diablos much. The lone bright spot for Los Diablos on the season was their week 8 thumping of the Psychotic Ninjas to win the week, no doubt small comfort for a season which began and ended with solid drubbings at the hands of the Puttheads, and many, many other losses in between.
Team Datanator: The first fantasy team I've ever seen to be named after a software utility saw a 2011 season filled with promise and futility. With Adrian Peterson, Frank Gore, Matt Forte and Marshawn Lynch, Team Datanator demonstrated that you can field a competitive team using auto-draft. With occasional weeks-long periods of neglect which saw (for example) Roy Williams as a starter from week 10 on (total fantasy points: 5), Nick proved that even a team loaded with stud RBs can limp to the finish line without adequate management. Late-season injuries to Peterson and Forte didn't help, either.
Nick also demonstrated that you don't need to be a hands-on manger to beat Kevin.
(Okay, to be fair, he also beat Your Esteemed Commissioner, not to mention the eventual champion Orion River Horses).
Merrill's Marauders: After Los Diablos, Merrill is next in the line of 'What's Wrong with the Former Champions?' entrants. And unlike Kubicek, Merrill's point total for the season (805) is second-lowest, meaning his 5-8-1 finish is about what he earned. His draft roster is almost a who's who of 2012 fantasy disappointments: Rashard Mendenhall, Andre Johnson, LeGarrette Blount --- seriously, was there a Bucs player this year who wasn't a fantasy disappointment? --- and JerMichael Finley. Even the early-season pickup of Cam Newton didn't help.
I'm sure the worst part of the season, from Merrill's perspective, is that he not only lost to Kevin, he lost to Kevin twice. And speaking of Kevin . . . .
Golden Graham's: The Denver Broncos of the TTFFL. Seriously. Tim Tebow did for the Graham's what he's done for the Broncos; the only problem was that the TTFFL season is 2 weeks shorter than the NFL season, and the Graham's got Tebow as a starter 2 weeks later than the Broncos did. But once Kevin had Tebow starting for him, his season totally turned around. They were 1-6 before the trade, and went 5-2 the rest of the way, even remaining in playoff contention until a week 11 loss to the eventual champion River Horses.
To be honest, a 9th-place finish is better than Kevin usually does. And of course, there are those 2 victories over Merrill. All in all, not a bad season for the Graham's.
Leviathans: The Leviathans had an awesome inaugural season in the TTFFL; unfortunately, it was only 5 weeks long. The Leviathans were unbeatable in weeks 5 through 9, and 1-8 the rest of the way, including a crushing 5-game losing streak to finish out the season. Hmm, that's the way Pete's seasons usually end --- perhaps the torch has been passed. To be fair, Levi's end-of-season schedule was brutal, with three consecutive games against playoff teams (YAC Attack, River Horses and Strike Team), and the season finale against the Golden Tebow's --- er, Graham's.
Psychotic Ninjas: I haven't said this before, but I always thought I got away with highway robbery in the 2010 league draft: Rodgers, Austin, DJax, Charles, Foster, Nicks and Bradshaw in the first 10 rounds. Somehow, even with all that talent, I only managed a 3rd-place finish.
Well, as good as my 2010 draft was, that's about how bad my 2011 draft was. Three of my top 6 picks lost significant chunks of time to injury (McFadden, Felix Jones, Hightower), and in hindsight, my plan to make the Josh Freeman/Mike Williams combo the cornerstone of my offense was extremely misguided, if not downright idiotic. It's a miracle I manged even 6 victories on the season.
But wait, that's not all the stupid stuff I did this year! Let's look at my trades, shall we? As good as Tebow was for Kevin, Rivers was mediocre for me. And the steal of the season was my deal to give the Orion River Horses Marques Colston and Tim Hightower for the ultimately useless Jahvid Best. All I can say to Pete is: you're welcome.
But man, I really robbed Pete blind on that Aaron Hernandez/Owen Daniels trade. Hernandez averaged 3.7 points per game after that trade, versus 1.7 for Daniels. Oh yeah, think about that the next time you trade me a tight end, Petey boy!!!
Screaming Eagles: Jason managed the team that did the most with the least. Despite only putting up 817 points --- third least --- Jason still managed to put up a 7-7 record and had at least a theoretical shot at the playoffs right up to the last week of the regular season. All they needed to do week 14 was score 52 more points than they did. I know there's a lot of us who wish we had gotten that close. The real killer for the Eagles' season was the pathetic display by Chris Johnson, or as I now call him, CJ0KE. If Johnson had played in 2011 like has the past two seasons, we could well be trying to wrap our minds around an Eagles championship now --- which is even more inconceivable than a River Horses title.
Puttheads: If Kubicek had a disappointing season by winning only 3 games while scoring 895 points, then Jody had a disappointing season on steroids, scoring 1031 points (second most), but managing only a 7-7 record and a fifth-place finish. By comparison, the Puttheads only scored 967 points in 2010, which earned them a 12-2 record and the top seed in the playoffs. But I guess that's fantasy. Part of Jody's problem was a 106-96 week 4 loss to Taylor, but the real roadblock for the otherwise high-flying Puttheads this season was a mysterious slump in weeks 7-9, when they only managed 45, 48 and 48 points.
It's probably not much comfort to Jody that his season began and ended by absolutely pounding Los Diablos into dust, by a combined 222-102 margin. But as silver linings go, I'd take it.
Suspended Atomnation: In finishing fourth, Adam wins the award for having the best team on the season who didn't really win anything. With one lonely weekly win, Adam finished with as much money as Los Diablos, and less than the playoff-less Ninjas and Puttheads. Unlike Kevin or Levi, whose seasons were divided into streaks of winning and (mostly) losing, Adam's Atoms were consistently among the top 2-3 teams all season long. Unfortunately, someone has to go 0-2 in the playoffs, and this year it was Adam. You could look at their playoff games and point to lackluster performances by Eli Manning and Ray Rice, but the fact of the matter was that weeks 15 and 16 just weren't the Atoms' weeks, losing by 27 or more each week.
I'm trying to look for a silver lining in this season, but there just isn't one. Adam can say he made the playoffs --- whee.
YAC Attack: Congratulations to Taylor for fielding the top scoring team of 2011! And congratulations too for coming out of the season with something to show for it, though taking home the 3rd-place trophy has to sting, considering that YAC Attack outscored Orion River Horses by nearly 200 points on the season. Add to it that the first-round playoff loss to the Hippos was keyed mostly by Drew Brees having his second-best fantasy day the same week Aaron Rodgers had his second-worst (that, plus the out-of-nowhere 19 points put up by C. J. Spiller).
Trust me, Taylor. I know what it's like to miss out on a title due to QB issues in the first-round playoff game. Oh and how I know.
Actually, I'm guessing that adding insult to injury is that this was probably a pretty dull season for Taylor. With a mostly rock-solid draft (Rodgers, Fitzgerald, Bryant, Fred Jackson, Steve Smith), there really wasn't any need to pay much attention to his lineup each week --- this was the team Nick needed to have --- so Taylor missed out on making moves and nail-biting weekly start/sit decisions which make fantasy football such an awesome pastime. Better luck next year, Taylor.
No wait, what am I saying?
Strike Team: Second year in the league, second place. Not too shabby. I mean, it's no breaking into the league with three straight titles (*cough*, *cough*), but it's still impressive. Here's a little-known fact about Aaron. At the start of last season, he was the league's Team Datanator. By which I mean, he was, shall we say, relaxed about maintaining his roster. But since about week 5 or 6 of 2010, he's been all in, with a solid draft and consistent performances from his team throughout the season. But like Taylor in round 1 of the playoffs, Aaron could not overcome the might of the River Horses and their stars Drew Brees and C. J. Spiller in the title round. I have a sort of nervous feeling that we may be seeing Strike Team as a force in the playoffs for years to come.
Orion River Horses: The River Horses' season just drives me crazy. If you had to pick a team to go all the way, they wouldn't have been in the top 4. With the exception of Drew Brees, and possibly Marques Colston, Pete's draft was chock full of underachievers. And although Pete successfully foisted Jahvid Best off on the naive and trusting Ninjas in the Colston trade, the dirty little secret there is that I only had Colston available to trade to Pete because Pete dropped him after his collarbone injury in week 1.
Not only that, but the River Horses started the season 2-3, and backed into the playoffs with losses in weeks 13 and 14. It was less a case of Pete making the playoffs and more a case of everyone else --- Levi, Jody, Jason and myself --- stumbling to the finish line. I mean hell, Pete even dropped two games to the Ninjas, if you can believe that.
But wow, did Pete ever manage to make the most of the opportunity he had. I've already talked about Brees' strong finish, and the opportunistic pickup of C. J. Spiller. Considering that the River Horses only finished 7th in overall scoring, they sure picked a good two weeks to blow the top off of things. Sometimes that's all it takes.
And so, we draw the curtain on the 2011 TTFFL season. It's been a blast. And trust me, guys, I'm not going to draft like a loser again next year. Pete, Aaron, Taylor and Adam: Don't get cocky.
These are my team-by-team thoughts and observations, as usual going from worst to first.
Los Diablos: HAH-hah! Will Kubicek *ever* pay off his karma debt from the 2006 season, when he won the title despite scoring practically no points? Somehow, he managed 3 wins versus 11 losses, despite scoring the 5th most points on the season. All 3 wins were picked up between weeks 8 and 11; the rest of his season was misery. The Houston Texans may be in the playoffs, but Matt Schaub and Arian Foster didn't help Los Diablos much. The lone bright spot for Los Diablos on the season was their week 8 thumping of the Psychotic Ninjas to win the week, no doubt small comfort for a season which began and ended with solid drubbings at the hands of the Puttheads, and many, many other losses in between.
Team Datanator: The first fantasy team I've ever seen to be named after a software utility saw a 2011 season filled with promise and futility. With Adrian Peterson, Frank Gore, Matt Forte and Marshawn Lynch, Team Datanator demonstrated that you can field a competitive team using auto-draft. With occasional weeks-long periods of neglect which saw (for example) Roy Williams as a starter from week 10 on (total fantasy points: 5), Nick proved that even a team loaded with stud RBs can limp to the finish line without adequate management. Late-season injuries to Peterson and Forte didn't help, either.
Nick also demonstrated that you don't need to be a hands-on manger to beat Kevin.
(Okay, to be fair, he also beat Your Esteemed Commissioner, not to mention the eventual champion Orion River Horses).
Merrill's Marauders: After Los Diablos, Merrill is next in the line of 'What's Wrong with the Former Champions?' entrants. And unlike Kubicek, Merrill's point total for the season (805) is second-lowest, meaning his 5-8-1 finish is about what he earned. His draft roster is almost a who's who of 2012 fantasy disappointments: Rashard Mendenhall, Andre Johnson, LeGarrette Blount --- seriously, was there a Bucs player this year who wasn't a fantasy disappointment? --- and JerMichael Finley. Even the early-season pickup of Cam Newton didn't help.
I'm sure the worst part of the season, from Merrill's perspective, is that he not only lost to Kevin, he lost to Kevin twice. And speaking of Kevin . . . .
Golden Graham's: The Denver Broncos of the TTFFL. Seriously. Tim Tebow did for the Graham's what he's done for the Broncos; the only problem was that the TTFFL season is 2 weeks shorter than the NFL season, and the Graham's got Tebow as a starter 2 weeks later than the Broncos did. But once Kevin had Tebow starting for him, his season totally turned around. They were 1-6 before the trade, and went 5-2 the rest of the way, even remaining in playoff contention until a week 11 loss to the eventual champion River Horses.
To be honest, a 9th-place finish is better than Kevin usually does. And of course, there are those 2 victories over Merrill. All in all, not a bad season for the Graham's.
Leviathans: The Leviathans had an awesome inaugural season in the TTFFL; unfortunately, it was only 5 weeks long. The Leviathans were unbeatable in weeks 5 through 9, and 1-8 the rest of the way, including a crushing 5-game losing streak to finish out the season. Hmm, that's the way Pete's seasons usually end --- perhaps the torch has been passed. To be fair, Levi's end-of-season schedule was brutal, with three consecutive games against playoff teams (YAC Attack, River Horses and Strike Team), and the season finale against the Golden Tebow's --- er, Graham's.
Psychotic Ninjas: I haven't said this before, but I always thought I got away with highway robbery in the 2010 league draft: Rodgers, Austin, DJax, Charles, Foster, Nicks and Bradshaw in the first 10 rounds. Somehow, even with all that talent, I only managed a 3rd-place finish.
Well, as good as my 2010 draft was, that's about how bad my 2011 draft was. Three of my top 6 picks lost significant chunks of time to injury (McFadden, Felix Jones, Hightower), and in hindsight, my plan to make the Josh Freeman/Mike Williams combo the cornerstone of my offense was extremely misguided, if not downright idiotic. It's a miracle I manged even 6 victories on the season.
But wait, that's not all the stupid stuff I did this year! Let's look at my trades, shall we? As good as Tebow was for Kevin, Rivers was mediocre for me. And the steal of the season was my deal to give the Orion River Horses Marques Colston and Tim Hightower for the ultimately useless Jahvid Best. All I can say to Pete is: you're welcome.
But man, I really robbed Pete blind on that Aaron Hernandez/Owen Daniels trade. Hernandez averaged 3.7 points per game after that trade, versus 1.7 for Daniels. Oh yeah, think about that the next time you trade me a tight end, Petey boy!!!
Screaming Eagles: Jason managed the team that did the most with the least. Despite only putting up 817 points --- third least --- Jason still managed to put up a 7-7 record and had at least a theoretical shot at the playoffs right up to the last week of the regular season. All they needed to do week 14 was score 52 more points than they did. I know there's a lot of us who wish we had gotten that close. The real killer for the Eagles' season was the pathetic display by Chris Johnson, or as I now call him, CJ0KE. If Johnson had played in 2011 like has the past two seasons, we could well be trying to wrap our minds around an Eagles championship now --- which is even more inconceivable than a River Horses title.
Puttheads: If Kubicek had a disappointing season by winning only 3 games while scoring 895 points, then Jody had a disappointing season on steroids, scoring 1031 points (second most), but managing only a 7-7 record and a fifth-place finish. By comparison, the Puttheads only scored 967 points in 2010, which earned them a 12-2 record and the top seed in the playoffs. But I guess that's fantasy. Part of Jody's problem was a 106-96 week 4 loss to Taylor, but the real roadblock for the otherwise high-flying Puttheads this season was a mysterious slump in weeks 7-9, when they only managed 45, 48 and 48 points.
It's probably not much comfort to Jody that his season began and ended by absolutely pounding Los Diablos into dust, by a combined 222-102 margin. But as silver linings go, I'd take it.
Suspended Atomnation: In finishing fourth, Adam wins the award for having the best team on the season who didn't really win anything. With one lonely weekly win, Adam finished with as much money as Los Diablos, and less than the playoff-less Ninjas and Puttheads. Unlike Kevin or Levi, whose seasons were divided into streaks of winning and (mostly) losing, Adam's Atoms were consistently among the top 2-3 teams all season long. Unfortunately, someone has to go 0-2 in the playoffs, and this year it was Adam. You could look at their playoff games and point to lackluster performances by Eli Manning and Ray Rice, but the fact of the matter was that weeks 15 and 16 just weren't the Atoms' weeks, losing by 27 or more each week.
I'm trying to look for a silver lining in this season, but there just isn't one. Adam can say he made the playoffs --- whee.
YAC Attack: Congratulations to Taylor for fielding the top scoring team of 2011! And congratulations too for coming out of the season with something to show for it, though taking home the 3rd-place trophy has to sting, considering that YAC Attack outscored Orion River Horses by nearly 200 points on the season. Add to it that the first-round playoff loss to the Hippos was keyed mostly by Drew Brees having his second-best fantasy day the same week Aaron Rodgers had his second-worst (that, plus the out-of-nowhere 19 points put up by C. J. Spiller).
Trust me, Taylor. I know what it's like to miss out on a title due to QB issues in the first-round playoff game. Oh and how I know.
Actually, I'm guessing that adding insult to injury is that this was probably a pretty dull season for Taylor. With a mostly rock-solid draft (Rodgers, Fitzgerald, Bryant, Fred Jackson, Steve Smith), there really wasn't any need to pay much attention to his lineup each week --- this was the team Nick needed to have --- so Taylor missed out on making moves and nail-biting weekly start/sit decisions which make fantasy football such an awesome pastime. Better luck next year, Taylor.
No wait, what am I saying?
Strike Team: Second year in the league, second place. Not too shabby. I mean, it's no breaking into the league with three straight titles (*cough*, *cough*), but it's still impressive. Here's a little-known fact about Aaron. At the start of last season, he was the league's Team Datanator. By which I mean, he was, shall we say, relaxed about maintaining his roster. But since about week 5 or 6 of 2010, he's been all in, with a solid draft and consistent performances from his team throughout the season. But like Taylor in round 1 of the playoffs, Aaron could not overcome the might of the River Horses and their stars Drew Brees and C. J. Spiller in the title round. I have a sort of nervous feeling that we may be seeing Strike Team as a force in the playoffs for years to come.
Orion River Horses: The River Horses' season just drives me crazy. If you had to pick a team to go all the way, they wouldn't have been in the top 4. With the exception of Drew Brees, and possibly Marques Colston, Pete's draft was chock full of underachievers. And although Pete successfully foisted Jahvid Best off on the naive and trusting Ninjas in the Colston trade, the dirty little secret there is that I only had Colston available to trade to Pete because Pete dropped him after his collarbone injury in week 1.
Not only that, but the River Horses started the season 2-3, and backed into the playoffs with losses in weeks 13 and 14. It was less a case of Pete making the playoffs and more a case of everyone else --- Levi, Jody, Jason and myself --- stumbling to the finish line. I mean hell, Pete even dropped two games to the Ninjas, if you can believe that.
But wow, did Pete ever manage to make the most of the opportunity he had. I've already talked about Brees' strong finish, and the opportunistic pickup of C. J. Spiller. Considering that the River Horses only finished 7th in overall scoring, they sure picked a good two weeks to blow the top off of things. Sometimes that's all it takes.
And so, we draw the curtain on the 2011 TTFFL season. It's been a blast. And trust me, guys, I'm not going to draft like a loser again next year. Pete, Aaron, Taylor and Adam: Don't get cocky.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
All Hail the Mighty, Mighty Hippos!
Man, who would have thought that a fantasy team named for hippos would ever be successful? But successful they were. Despite losing their final two regular season games and backing into the playoffs at 8-6, they dominated both playoff weeks and won the title in convincing fashion.
Probably the best part about the Orion River Horses' title is that it came, at least in part, along with Drew Brees' successful assault on on Dan Marino's 27-year-old record for passing yards in a season. Down to Strike Team by 28 going into the final game of the fantasy season, a divisional matchup between the Saints and Falcons, the River Horses had Brees, Colston and Turner left to play. Turner was winding down, as he usually does late in the season, and scored a measly two fantasy points. But Brees had one of his typical great nights, throwing 3 TDs for 275 yards in the first 55 minutes of the game --- including one to Marques Colston, which was key for the Hippos.
Later in the evening, Brees iced the game for the River Horses when he threw his fourth TD of the game, breaking Marino's record in the process.
For their part, Strike Team put up a respectable 70 points, but that wasn't enough to get them the win. The real difference in the game came among the waiver-wire pickups. Kevin Smith had a good game for Strike Team, as did C.J. Spiller for the River Horses. But Donald Brown, who had been strong and scored 8 or more points in three of the previous four games, only managed a single point during championship week.
And so the Orion River Horses take the 2011 TTFFL crown.
Later in the evening, Brees iced the game for the River Horses when he threw his fourth TD of the game, breaking Marino's record in the process.
For their part, Strike Team put up a respectable 70 points, but that wasn't enough to get them the win. The real difference in the game came among the waiver-wire pickups. Kevin Smith had a good game for Strike Team, as did C.J. Spiller for the River Horses. But Donald Brown, who had been strong and scored 8 or more points in three of the previous four games, only managed a single point during championship week.
And so the Orion River Horses take the 2011 TTFFL crown.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
And Then There Were Two
Much to the surprise of everyone --- well, to me, at any rate --- the Orion River Horses simply walloped the league-leading YAC Attack in the first round of the playoffs, a 97-61 thrashing. Much of that had to do with Drew Brees playing one of his best games of the season, which is saying a lot, versus Aaron Rodgers having --- believe it or not --- only his second worst game. His worst game was week 14 against the Raiders, which kind of makes you wonder whether the Packers have peaked too soon.
Perhaps more surprisingly, the River Horses' 36-point victory margin wasn't even the biggest margin of the semifinal round. That honor belongs to Aaron and his Strike Team, who whipped Atomnation by a 37-point spread, 75-48. Yes, despite having the 4th-highest scoring team in the league this year, Adam's Atoms picked a terrible time to put up a stinker, allowing Aaron to cruise to the championship round.
(Ed. note: Or maybe it was only a 27-point margin for Strike Team. Apparently I can't snark and subtract at the same time)
It's surprising that the River Horses put up 97 points with such fantasy standouts as C.J. Spiller and Nate Burleson. But Strike Team can match that firepower and more, with notable names like Donald Brown, Laurent Robinson and especially Kevin Smith. Sure, players emerge out of nowhere every year to be a fantasy factor, but it seems like there are more such players this year than at any time I can remember.
The River Horses beat Strike Team in their only meeting this season, in a surprisingly low-scoring 52-47 victory. Nevertheless, I proclaim that Strike Team is a mortal lock to win the title. My reasoning has less to do with C.J. Spiller and Nate Burleson, or even the fact that Brees and Colston are going up against the Falcons' tough pass D. It has to do with the fact that Pete simply cannot win the big one.
Pete and I both came into the league in 2007, and the River Horses were pretty much dominant all year long --- before falling to a laughable 7-6-1 team (that would be the Ninjas) in the first round of the playoffs. Pete hasn't done much since then, except that last year after starting the season 0-5, he threw a scare into everyone that he might pull off a miracle worst-to-first finish, reeling off 5 straight victories to pull to 5-6-1 before fading at the end. And there's no reason to believe he won't fall short again this year.
So enjoy your time in the limelight while it lasts, Mr. Close-But-No-Cigar. I'll be polishing up the winner's trophy and getting Aaron's name engraved on it.
Perhaps more surprisingly, the River Horses' 36-point victory margin wasn't even the biggest margin of the semifinal round. That honor belongs to Aaron and his Strike Team, who whipped Atomnation by a 37-point spread, 75-48. Yes, despite having the 4th-highest scoring team in the league this year, Adam's Atoms picked a terrible time to put up a stinker, allowing Aaron to cruise to the championship round.
(Ed. note: Or maybe it was only a 27-point margin for Strike Team. Apparently I can't snark and subtract at the same time)
It's surprising that the River Horses put up 97 points with such fantasy standouts as C.J. Spiller and Nate Burleson. But Strike Team can match that firepower and more, with notable names like Donald Brown, Laurent Robinson and especially Kevin Smith. Sure, players emerge out of nowhere every year to be a fantasy factor, but it seems like there are more such players this year than at any time I can remember.
The River Horses beat Strike Team in their only meeting this season, in a surprisingly low-scoring 52-47 victory. Nevertheless, I proclaim that Strike Team is a mortal lock to win the title. My reasoning has less to do with C.J. Spiller and Nate Burleson, or even the fact that Brees and Colston are going up against the Falcons' tough pass D. It has to do with the fact that Pete simply cannot win the big one.
Pete and I both came into the league in 2007, and the River Horses were pretty much dominant all year long --- before falling to a laughable 7-6-1 team (that would be the Ninjas) in the first round of the playoffs. Pete hasn't done much since then, except that last year after starting the season 0-5, he threw a scare into everyone that he might pull off a miracle worst-to-first finish, reeling off 5 straight victories to pull to 5-6-1 before fading at the end. And there's no reason to believe he won't fall short again this year.
So enjoy your time in the limelight while it lasts, Mr. Close-But-No-Cigar. I'll be polishing up the winner's trophy and getting Aaron's name engraved on it.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
And Then there were Four
So finally the drama (such as it was) is over, and the playoff matchups are set. Round 1 features a grudge rematch between Strike Team and Atomnation --- who fought to a tie in their only matchup this season --- and a battle between the Orion River Horses and the suddenly mortal YAC Attack.
On the one hand, I must admit it is refreshing to see some new blood in the playoffs, even though it pains me greatly to be sitting out for the first time ever. On the other hand, I still keep expecting Pete and Taylor to both perform their annual choking ritual. But I guess it's now guaranteed that one of them will make it to the finals.
As a reminder, as stated in the league manifesto, if a playoff game ends in a tie score, the higher-seeded team shall be declared the winner. So Pete and Adam need clear victories in their semifinal games in order to advance to the championship round.
For the sake of posterity, I'm going to copy the final regular season standings into this here blog dealie. I'll have other witty observations to make in my usual end-of-season rant.
On the one hand, I must admit it is refreshing to see some new blood in the playoffs, even though it pains me greatly to be sitting out for the first time ever. On the other hand, I still keep expecting Pete and Taylor to both perform their annual choking ritual. But I guess it's now guaranteed that one of them will make it to the finals.
As a reminder, as stated in the league manifesto, if a playoff game ends in a tie score, the higher-seeded team shall be declared the winner. So Pete and Adam need clear victories in their semifinal games in order to advance to the championship round.
For the sake of posterity, I'm going to copy the final regular season standings into this here blog dealie. I'll have other witty observations to make in my usual end-of-season rant.
- Yac Attack: 12-2, 1070 points
- Strike Team: 9-4-1, 921 points
- Suspended Atomnation: 9-4-1, 911 points
- Orion River Horses: 8-6, 872 points
- Newnan Puttheads: 7-7, 1031 points
- Screaming Eagles: 7-7, 817 points
- Psychotic Ninjas: 6-8, 894 points
- Leviathans: 6-8, 845 points
- Golden Graham's: 6-8, 843 points
- Merrill's Marauders: 5-8-1, 805 points
- Team Datanator: 4-9-1, 709 points
- Los Diablos: 3-11, 895 points
Monday, December 5, 2011
Little Drama
Man, I usually love all of the last-minute playoff scenarios, but this year there are none.
Taylor has clinched the #1 seed. With their wins this weekend, Adam and Aaron have clinched playoff spots, with seeding to be determined by the results of next weekend's games.
With their losses this weekend, Levi and Merrill are officially done for the year. The only remaining suspense is whether Pete or Jason claims the final playoff spot. Pete is the prohibitive favorite, with a one-game lead and a 37-point lead in total points. So the bottom line is, Pete goes to the playoffs unless the following three things all happen next weekend:
Congratulations to Adam and Aaron. Everyone else, keep striving for that weekly win! It looks like Adam got it for the first time this week, making nine different teams who have won at least one week this year (well, Aaron only won half a week)!
With three weeks left, it's still possible for Nick, Kevin and Jason to each have their turn to spread the wealth!
Taylor has clinched the #1 seed. With their wins this weekend, Adam and Aaron have clinched playoff spots, with seeding to be determined by the results of next weekend's games.
With their losses this weekend, Levi and Merrill are officially done for the year. The only remaining suspense is whether Pete or Jason claims the final playoff spot. Pete is the prohibitive favorite, with a one-game lead and a 37-point lead in total points. So the bottom line is, Pete goes to the playoffs unless the following three things all happen next weekend:
- Pete loses.
- Jason wins.
- Jason outscores Pete by 38 points or more.
Congratulations to Adam and Aaron. Everyone else, keep striving for that weekly win! It looks like Adam got it for the first time this week, making nine different teams who have won at least one week this year (well, Aaron only won half a week)!
With three weeks left, it's still possible for Nick, Kevin and Jason to each have their turn to spread the wealth!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Well, This is Boring
With two weeks left to go in the 2011 TTFFL regular season, the playoff picture is --- really, really straightforward, actually. Surprisingly, there is almost nothing interesting about it.
There are only 4 teams in the league with a record above .500: YAC Attack, who clinched a playoff spot last week, then the surprising River Horses at 8-4, and finally Strike Team and Suspended Atomnation at 7-4-1. Four teams above .500, 4 playoff spots, pretty easy to do the math on this one.
There are only two other teams in contention for a playoff spot --- not surprisingly, those would be the only two teams in the league AT .500. Specifically, Leviathans and Screaming Eagles, in that order. Each of these teams could, theoretically, sneak into the playoffs, but it would require:
So. Not too much in the way of intrigue, etc.
On a completely unrelated note, Your Esteemed Commissioner will miss the playoffs for the first time ever. What do you guys do when you don't make the playoffs? Do you have a potluck or something? Do you all, like, get together on game day and watch the cool teams win?
Update: Oops, my bad. Technically, Merrill still has a shot at playoff glory, too. He needs to win out --- with victories over Taylor and Aaron to finish the season, good luck with that --- and finish 7-6-1, and he needs Aaron and Adam to both lose both of their games, AND he needs Levi and Jason to both lose at least once. So, not real likely. On the other hand, it would be pretty epic if it happened, so I'm going to cheer him on! That's right, Merrill! I'm rooting for ya, buddy!
There are only 4 teams in the league with a record above .500: YAC Attack, who clinched a playoff spot last week, then the surprising River Horses at 8-4, and finally Strike Team and Suspended Atomnation at 7-4-1. Four teams above .500, 4 playoff spots, pretty easy to do the math on this one.
There are only two other teams in contention for a playoff spot --- not surprisingly, those would be the only two teams in the league AT .500. Specifically, Leviathans and Screaming Eagles, in that order. Each of these teams could, theoretically, sneak into the playoffs, but it would require:
- Victories in both of their remaining games. This would seem to be within Levi's grasp, with remaining matchups against Strike Team and Golden Graham's, but rather more of a stretch for Jason, who faces the neglectful Team Datanator next week before running into the buzzsaw that is Taylor week 14. Then again, Taylor proved to actually be mortal this week with the loss of Fred Jackson, so never say never.
- One of River Horses, Strike Team or Suspended Atomnation losing both of their remaining games. Again, we should never say never --- and Levi actually controls his (and Jason's) destiny a little bit with a remaining game against Strike Team.
So. Not too much in the way of intrigue, etc.
On a completely unrelated note, Your Esteemed Commissioner will miss the playoffs for the first time ever. What do you guys do when you don't make the playoffs? Do you have a potluck or something? Do you all, like, get together on game day and watch the cool teams win?
Update: Oops, my bad. Technically, Merrill still has a shot at playoff glory, too. He needs to win out --- with victories over Taylor and Aaron to finish the season, good luck with that --- and finish 7-6-1, and he needs Aaron and Adam to both lose both of their games, AND he needs Levi and Jason to both lose at least once. So, not real likely. On the other hand, it would be pretty epic if it happened, so I'm going to cheer him on! That's right, Merrill! I'm rooting for ya, buddy!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Playoff Scenarios: Week 12
Here's where things stand with 3 weeks remaining in the 2011 TTFFL season:
Ticket Stamped
Congratulations to Taylor on being the first to clinch a playoff spot this season! There is a theoretical possibility that Aaron could sneak past him for the #1 seed but --- ain't gonna happen.
Sitting Pretty
Next comes Aaron at 7-3-1, then the surprising Hippos at 7-4, and Adam at 6-4-1. Strike Team will clinch with a win and a Leviathans loss. Orion River Horses need a combination of 3 wins or Leviathans losses over the final three weeks (next week's tilt with the Leviathans should go a long way to clearing up the playoff picture for both teams). Adam just needs to make sure his win total meets or exceeds that of Leviathans in the final three weeks.
Knockin' on the Door
Leviathans have the best shot at breaking into the top four. Ninjas and Eagles aren't out of it yet --- and could theoretically still get in even with another loss --- but likely need to win out to have a decent shot at making it.
Still Kickin'
Marauders, Team Datanator, and the defending champion Puttheads still have a pulse, but it would require serious strangeness among the top 7 teams for any of these guys to sneak in. Even if they win out to finish the season, the odds are still against them.
Thanks for Playing
This week, Kevin joins Kubicek in regrouping for next year. Kubicek only faces similarly down and out teams the rest of the season, but Kevin might be able to play the spoiler against Levi in week 14 (you can take it easy this week though, Kevin. No reason to try to be a hero). Look at the positive side, guys: One of you might get an exciting new team name and avatar to play with next year!
Ticket Stamped
Congratulations to Taylor on being the first to clinch a playoff spot this season! There is a theoretical possibility that Aaron could sneak past him for the #1 seed but --- ain't gonna happen.
Sitting Pretty
Next comes Aaron at 7-3-1, then the surprising Hippos at 7-4, and Adam at 6-4-1. Strike Team will clinch with a win and a Leviathans loss. Orion River Horses need a combination of 3 wins or Leviathans losses over the final three weeks (next week's tilt with the Leviathans should go a long way to clearing up the playoff picture for both teams). Adam just needs to make sure his win total meets or exceeds that of Leviathans in the final three weeks.
Knockin' on the Door
Leviathans have the best shot at breaking into the top four. Ninjas and Eagles aren't out of it yet --- and could theoretically still get in even with another loss --- but likely need to win out to have a decent shot at making it.
Still Kickin'
Marauders, Team Datanator, and the defending champion Puttheads still have a pulse, but it would require serious strangeness among the top 7 teams for any of these guys to sneak in. Even if they win out to finish the season, the odds are still against them.
Thanks for Playing
This week, Kevin joins Kubicek in regrouping for next year. Kubicek only faces similarly down and out teams the rest of the season, but Kevin might be able to play the spoiler against Levi in week 14 (you can take it easy this week though, Kevin. No reason to try to be a hero). Look at the positive side, guys: One of you might get an exciting new team name and avatar to play with next year!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
If the Playoffs Began Today . . .
Okay. I'm going to try to remain professional here, and write an entire blog entry without even mentioning my loss to Taylor last weekend. But, I mean, damn! Usually, you score 79 points in this league, you win the game, you know what I mean? And as for Aaron Rodgers --- well. Here's an idea. Next year, instead of actually drafting players and playing a full season, we'll just come up with some really groovy algorithm for setting a draft order (I know how much the old-timers miss the Dow Jones method) --- it will have to be really fun and complicated and shiny, because that's pretty much all we're going to do --- and whoever ends up with the first pick will be declared league champion, and we can all just mail our checks to him. Because whoever ends up with Rodgers next year is definitely making the playoffs, and has about an 80% chance of taking the title.
Brutal.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, keeping it professional. So I'm not going to talk about my 93-79 loss to Taylor, which would have been a 94-93 victory if Tom Brady had decided to throw to Aaron Hernandez as much as he threw to Rob Gronkowski. Stupid Tom Brady.
Anyway. Professional. Roddy goddamn White.
Professional.
So, with 4 games left in the season, here's how things stack up for possible playoff spots. As always, remember that no matter how far out of it you are, there's still a $15 prize for the top point-scorer every week, even during the playoffs. So everyone keep working to field your best lineup every week.
Ticket Stamped
Believe it or not, no one, not even the mighty YAC Attack, has clinched a playoff spot yet. Thanks to a multitude of 6-win teams, there is still a theoretical possibility that Taylor can finish 9-5 and be sitting at home for the playoffs. That would be hysterically funny, actually, but not especially likely, especially considering that given Taylor's huge lead in total points scored, the only way it could realistically happen would be for the Trumbores to battle to a tie in week 12, and then win all the rest of their games.
Actually, I kind of hope that does happen. It would be epic. Only, Taylor's not going to lose again, so there's no point in thinking about it.
Sitting Pretty
Obviously YAC Attack has the inside track at 9-1. Next come Suspended Atomnation, Strike Team, and the Orion River Horses. The Leviathans are actually outside the playoff bubble at 5th place right now, but I'll include them here as the final 6-win team. Of course, 4 weeks is still enough time for at least one of these teams to tank, and the schedule is going to help them out with Suspended Atomnation playing Strike Team next week, the Trumbores beating each other up in week 12, and the Leviathans taking on Strike Team in week 13. And on top of that, Taylor should help keep things interesting by likely handing out defeats to Leviathans and Suspended Atmonation the next two weeks. So while the teams at this level might be 'Sitting Pretty', now is not the time to get complacent.
Knocking on the Door
The next tier of teams includes the Screaming Eagles in 6th place, Team Datanator a surprising 7th place (here's a hint, Nick: Roy Williams sucks), the defending champion Puttheads in 8th place, and Your Esteemed Commissioner in 9th place (Larry Fitzgerald for 19 fantasy points? Really? Against the 'Dream Team'? With John Skelton at QB? Really?). Needless to say, all the teams in this band need to win out, and then they need help from somewhere if they're going to snag the 4th seed and the honor of being devoured alive by Taylor in the first round of the playoffs.
Still Kickin'
Continuing on down the line, we have Merrill in 10th place, still a half-game ahead of Kevin and his Golden Grahams in spite of the Grahams sweeping the season series against the Marauders last week. Neither of these guys have much left to play for, though I'm sure Kevin's two wins over Merrill this year will keep him warm during those long winter months. And Merrill, well --- he can take comfort in the knowledge that he's still a half-game ahead of Kevin. For now. Looks like the Tebow trade is working out for Kevin, who might even have a chance to play spoiler the rest of the season now that Chris Johnson (or as I like to call him: CJ0KE) is maybe finally waking up. With remaining games against both members of the Trumbore family, Kevin could still have something to say about the playoff picture --- just take it easy week 12, huh, big guy?
Thanks for Playing
Just one team in this category this week: Despite their week 10 win, Los Diablos are officially eliminated from the playoffs, thanks to the week 12 Trumbore family matchup, which means there's no way Los Diablos can get in front of both of them. But like Kevin and his sweep of Merrill in 2011, Kubicek can cling to his week 8 spanking of the Psychotic Ninjas and know that for one week --- and only one week in 2011 --- Los Diablos was the best team in TTFFL. Any hopes of salvaging more than that pretty much went out the window with Matt Schaub.
Brutal.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, keeping it professional. So I'm not going to talk about my 93-79 loss to Taylor, which would have been a 94-93 victory if Tom Brady had decided to throw to Aaron Hernandez as much as he threw to Rob Gronkowski. Stupid Tom Brady.
Anyway. Professional. Roddy goddamn White.
Professional.
So, with 4 games left in the season, here's how things stack up for possible playoff spots. As always, remember that no matter how far out of it you are, there's still a $15 prize for the top point-scorer every week, even during the playoffs. So everyone keep working to field your best lineup every week.
Ticket Stamped
Believe it or not, no one, not even the mighty YAC Attack, has clinched a playoff spot yet. Thanks to a multitude of 6-win teams, there is still a theoretical possibility that Taylor can finish 9-5 and be sitting at home for the playoffs. That would be hysterically funny, actually, but not especially likely, especially considering that given Taylor's huge lead in total points scored, the only way it could realistically happen would be for the Trumbores to battle to a tie in week 12, and then win all the rest of their games.
Actually, I kind of hope that does happen. It would be epic. Only, Taylor's not going to lose again, so there's no point in thinking about it.
Sitting Pretty
Obviously YAC Attack has the inside track at 9-1. Next come Suspended Atomnation, Strike Team, and the Orion River Horses. The Leviathans are actually outside the playoff bubble at 5th place right now, but I'll include them here as the final 6-win team. Of course, 4 weeks is still enough time for at least one of these teams to tank, and the schedule is going to help them out with Suspended Atomnation playing Strike Team next week, the Trumbores beating each other up in week 12, and the Leviathans taking on Strike Team in week 13. And on top of that, Taylor should help keep things interesting by likely handing out defeats to Leviathans and Suspended Atmonation the next two weeks. So while the teams at this level might be 'Sitting Pretty', now is not the time to get complacent.
Knocking on the Door
The next tier of teams includes the Screaming Eagles in 6th place, Team Datanator a surprising 7th place (here's a hint, Nick: Roy Williams sucks), the defending champion Puttheads in 8th place, and Your Esteemed Commissioner in 9th place (Larry Fitzgerald for 19 fantasy points? Really? Against the 'Dream Team'? With John Skelton at QB? Really?). Needless to say, all the teams in this band need to win out, and then they need help from somewhere if they're going to snag the 4th seed and the honor of being devoured alive by Taylor in the first round of the playoffs.
Still Kickin'
Continuing on down the line, we have Merrill in 10th place, still a half-game ahead of Kevin and his Golden Grahams in spite of the Grahams sweeping the season series against the Marauders last week. Neither of these guys have much left to play for, though I'm sure Kevin's two wins over Merrill this year will keep him warm during those long winter months. And Merrill, well --- he can take comfort in the knowledge that he's still a half-game ahead of Kevin. For now. Looks like the Tebow trade is working out for Kevin, who might even have a chance to play spoiler the rest of the season now that Chris Johnson (or as I like to call him: CJ0KE) is maybe finally waking up. With remaining games against both members of the Trumbore family, Kevin could still have something to say about the playoff picture --- just take it easy week 12, huh, big guy?
Thanks for Playing
Just one team in this category this week: Despite their week 10 win, Los Diablos are officially eliminated from the playoffs, thanks to the week 12 Trumbore family matchup, which means there's no way Los Diablos can get in front of both of them. But like Kevin and his sweep of Merrill in 2011, Kubicek can cling to his week 8 spanking of the Psychotic Ninjas and know that for one week --- and only one week in 2011 --- Los Diablos was the best team in TTFFL. Any hopes of salvaging more than that pretty much went out the window with Matt Schaub.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Running the Table
Okay, I'll admit, this season has not been the Ninjas' finest. While I've managed to rack up more wins than Los Diablos, I sort of gave up any standing I had to trash them after they rolled me by 35 points last week.
Funny thing about that. Last week I played 0-7 opponents in two different leagues, lost both games. For some people, that might be a humbling experience.
But for the Ninjas, this is a new week, with new opportunities for victory! Sure, I may be in 10th place now, but I'm only 2 games out of playoff contention with 6 to go. Sunday is the first game of the rest of the season, and the Ninjas are not dead, merely resting. Sure, I may have been dead wrong in my preseason predictions that Josh Freeman and Mike Williams would finish the season as top-5 fantasy guys (neither of them are on my roster any longer) --- and for that matter, I may have been wrong about the Rams winning a playoff game, though that's still theoretically possible. But in spite of recent overwhelming evidence that I don't know what I'm talking about, I am nevertheless going to make one more bold prediction today:
The Ninjas will go 6-0 the rest of the way, and claim a playoff spot for the fifth consecutive year, and ultimately win their fourth consecutive* league title!!! The pieces are all in place, and the bye weeks can't trip me up any longer. Philip Rivers will put up the elite numbers he always does in November and December. Darren McFadden will be back and dominate the league in rushing. Jahvid Best will be back week 10 and be a top-10 fantasy RB the rest of the way. DeMarco Murray will continue to be an every-week fantasy starter even after Felix Jones is 'healthy' again (as if he ever is). Roddy White will return to his elite form, Aaron Hernandez will be the top 1 or 2 TEs the rest of the way, and either Eric Decker or Jonathon Baldwin (possibly both) will prove to be an every-week starter.
Be afraid, Merrill. And Taylor. And everyone else who faces the Ninja the rest of the season. Be very afraid.
* 'Consecutive' here means back-to-back-to-back-to-back, except for the fact that Jody actually won last year.
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