We're Halfway There!!!

A little over a year ago, I seem to recall writing something about how balanced the league was.  That clearly doesn't apply this year, so instead I'll talk about how teams are sprinkled all over the W-L spectrum.  At the top, of course, are YAC Attack --- I'm still not convinced Taylor won't find a way to avoid the playoffs again, though he'll really have to work to pull that off --- followed by Aaron with 5 wins, Adam at 4-2-1, and then the surprising Trumbore family and the Screaming Eagles all tied at 4-3.  Merrill has managed to drop all the way to 7th place in spite of narrowly cheating Team Datanator out of a win in week 5, but he's still a half-game ahead of the defending champion Puttheads and the former-champion Ninjas, who are knotted at an embarrassing 3-4.  Team Datanator is a half game back in 10th place, then there's Kevin in his usual lowly state, and bringing up the rear are:

So far this season, Los Diablos have played fantasy football about as well as this guys probably play actual football.


I'm going to go ahead and boldly predict a Ninja victory over Los Diablos next week, because like my hometown Minnesota Vikings, Los Diablos always manage to find a way to lose.  From the violent ass-whupping they got from Jody to start the season, all the way through the not-so-violent-but-nevertheless-an-ass-whupping they got from Levi last week, Los Diablos have never really been in any of their games this season.  With the exception of the week 4 70-76 loss to Screaming Eagles, they've never even managed to come within 10 points of victory.  Even when they put up a decent number of points, their opponent manages to do much better.

Here's a riddle.  What do Jahvid Best, Steve Johnson, Hakeem Nicks, and Darren Sproles all have in common?  They all had their best fantasy day when they were up against Los Diablos!

And I have no doubt it will continue.  Hey, I'm probably going to start Keiland Williams at RB next week, and I bet he scores at least 2 TDs, because I'm playing Los Diablos.  Thanks, Paul, for helping all of our fantasy teams perform better!

But I should apologize for spending so much time singling out and trashing another owner.  As usual, Kevin, you suck too.

Seriously, though, the 'changing of the guard' I speculated about after week 4 seems to be happening, dammit.  Los Diablos are a joke, Jody and I are wallowing in mediocrity, and even Merrill is starting to sink into oblivion.  Is this really what TTFFL is coming to?  Taylor playing dominant football?  Aaron and Adam in playoff contention, not to mention Levi?  What's the deal?  I thought after I joined the league in 2007 and dominated it for 3 years, we put in place an unwritten rule that newcomers could never succeed!

(I know Pete is also flirting with the playoffs, but he does this every year and it never amounts to anything.  There's nothing to see here; move along.  The fact that Jason is contending for a playoff spot is also mildly surprising, but as with Pete, I have no reason to believe it will last).

Finally, I'll take this opportunity to make my first reminder about the trading deadline.  The trading deadline is coming up in a little over a month, on Wednesday, November 30.  I mention this only because, well, I don't mean to tell you guys how to run your teams, but some of y'all could use some help.  I mean, look at me: goodness know *I* need help, and I'm getting it, too.  Why, just one week after unloading Tim Hightower, he's out for the season --- a narrow escape!  Of course, it's far from clear that the guy I got in the Hightower trade will be any more productive; meanwhile, Marques Colston is putting up huge numbers for the Hippos.

But as you know, I am undeterred.  Kevin, who is another desperate loser --- and also someone who needs help with his fantasy team --- negotiated back and forth with me for some time before agreeing to a blockbuster trade involving a bunch of possibly-relevant players: Philip Rivers, Peyton Hillis and Malcolm Floyd for TEBOW, Demariyus Thomas and Deion Branch.  My reasons for making the trade are obvious: If can build a time machine and go back to 2010, I'm going to have one awesome fantasy team.  I mean, seriously: Rivers, Best, Hillis, Floyd, Roddy White, Josh Freeman, Mike Williams, Brandon Marshall --- I'm toying with changing my team name to the 'Psychotic Underachievers'.

As for Kevin's reasons for making the trade, well, I can't put it any better than Kevin himself:

Lord knows my team is bad (again) so I figured acquire the man that has direct contact with God to lead the best fantasy comeback in history. Let Tim Tebow lead the GG's out of the ashes and into the light! Praise the Lord! Can I get a Hallelujah?! Amen my brothers!

Hard to argue with that logic.  And with that, we bring to a close the Commissioner's Review of the TTFFL at its Halfway Point.  Good luck to everyone next week, especially --- um --- Kevin, and Merrill, and Jody and Nick.  I don't care what happens in the Leviathans/Screaming Eagles matchup, since I want them both to lose.

And hey, I'll even wish my opponent Kubicek good luck, confident in the knowledge that it will do him no good.

And Merrill sucks.