Monday, November 26, 2012

And Then There Were Six

So we didn't quite manage to achieve the seven-way tie for first place.  Kubicek's 27-point stinker (with goose eggs courtesy of injuries to Matt Forte and Miles Austin) was sufficiently lame he couldn't even manage to beat Kevin, so he falls to 6-6 while Kevin stands alone atop the league at 8-4.

I'll pause for a moment to let everyone try to wrap their heads around that one.

If you think that's something, consider this.  If Elias hadn't made their late stat correction in the Steelers-Eagles game in week 5, it would be the MIGHTY NINJAS sitting alone atop the league right now, riding an 8-game winning streak rather than the puny, little, 7-game winning streak they're currently on.

Nevertheless, things are what they are, and with only two games left in the season, things are still a complete mess.  Not as messy as seven teams all tied for the lead, but still pretty bad.

First, as mentioned above, are the 8-4 Golden Graham's.  You might think they only need one win to clinch a playoff spot, and that may well turn out to be the case.  But it's actually possible for the Ninjas, Eagles, Merrill and Strike Team to all win out to finish at 9-5.  So in order to clinch a playoff spot in week 13, Kevin needs to beat Team Datanator and hope for a loss by either the Ninjas, Marauders or Strike Team (in addition to the inevitable loss by either the Leviathans or Screaming Eagles, who play each other).

Needless to say, if the league-leading Graham's need help to clinch a playoff spot in week 13, then none of the 7-5 teams will clinch next week.  These teams are currently sitting in positions 2-6 as follows based on points: Leviathans, Ninjas, the formerly league-leading Screaming Eagles, Merrill's Marauders and Strike Team.  Of those, only the Leviathans are guaranteed a playoff spot even if they win out, by virtue of the fact that their remaining matchups are against the 7-5 Eagles and 7-5 Ninjas.  All other 7-5 teams will probably clinch a playoff spot with wins in their final two games, but for each of those teams, it's possible to finish 9-5 and still end up in 5th place.

It goes without saying that if 9-5 doesn't guarantee a spot, then neither does 8-6.  So the 6-6 teams --- in order, Air Apparent, Los Diablos and Team Datanator --- need 2 more wins and a healthy dose of luck in order to participate in the postseason.

Rounding out the bottom of the league are the Puttheads, the defending champion River Horses and Atomnation, all of whom look likely to participate in the end-of-season loser bowl (though only Atomnation has clinched a spot in that playoff bracket).  Jody has already clinched the hard-luck award for the season, sitting at 4-8 despite having the fourth-highest point total in the league going into week 12.

And could Pete pull off a stunning first-to-worst finish, and proudly lead (perhaps) the Orion River Dorkuses next year?  Time will tell.

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