- The Jody McBodys (or whatever Jody chooses to name his team)
- Psychotic Ninjas
- Air Apparent
- Merrill's Marauders
- Screaming Eagles
- Orion River Horses
- Golden Graham's
- Aaron's team (to be named later by Kubicek)
- Suspended Atomnation
- The Leviathans
- ~ AirMex ~
- Los Diablos
In case you've forgotten, then end-of-year accounting totals are available here. And with the clerical business out of the way, let's review 2014 for . . . .
Strike Team: Much has been made of Strike Team's decline since claiming the 2012 TTFFL title. Since that auspicious day in December 2012, Aaron has won a total of 10 games, and one of those was the 2013 Toilet Bowl, where Aaron narrowly avoided finishing last. Well, he wasn't so lucky in 2014. In his 12 total losses this season (including playoffs), most of those games weren't close, and all of them had margins of at least 6 points.
He got off to a rough start, drafting three suspended players (Ray Rice, Wes Welker and Matt Prater), as well as a number of just plain duds (Reggie Bush, Mike Tolbert, Mike Williams, Doug Baldwin, Donald Brown and Jordan Todman), and his studs weren't plentiful enough to overcome it. So it's the end for the Strike Team, at least for 2015. I wonder what their new name will be?
Golden Graham's: It's a complete mystery why the Golden Graham's finished just one win away from last place. I'm pretty sure they drafted well and had a roster stocked with healthy, productive players all season, right? I mean, if something had gone wrong for them somehow this season, I'm pretty sure Kevin would have mentioned it, wouldn't he?
Well, he DID draft Adrian Peterson in the first round --- and he only averaged 3 fantasy points per game. He also had one or two players knocked out for the season with injuries, namely Victor Cruz, Danny Woodhead, Joe McKnight, Allen Robinson and Austin Sefarian-Jenkins. And Giovani Bernard, Ben Tate and Reggie Wayne just sucked.
As a result, Kevin finished right about where we all expected him to.
Orion River Horses: Pete drafted reasonably well --- for three rounds. After picking up Brees, Lynch and Colston (Pete loves him the Brees/Colston combo, he does), the rest of his draft was pretty much a waste of time, with Vernon Davis, Ryan Mathews, Cecil Shorts, Johnny Leaf Manziel and Eric Ebron all in the first 12 rounds. But he tried like hell to improve his team via the waiver wire, picking up TWENTY-EIGHT free agents during the season.
It worked well enough to pick up 5 wins and avoid last place, but that's the best that can be said for the 2014 River Horses.
Screaming Eagles: The Eagles draft was also fairly horrible, with Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown as the only true studs Jason drafted in the first 17 rounds. And unlike Pete, Jason didn't play the waiver wire very much (and his best pickup all season was Mohamed Sanu). In fact, I was really struggling to figure out how Jason managed to finish the season with 4 straight wins (including playoffs), much less compile a 6-8 regular season record.
Then I noticed that Jason picked up a little-known wideout named Odell Beckham, Jr. in the final round of the draft. Okay then. Let this be a reminder to everyone that 18th-round picks aren't throwaway picks, and can mean the difference between a respectable season and utter disaster (or under different circumstances, the difference between a respectable season and a title).
Merrill's Marauders: In contrast to Jason, I look at Merrill's draft and wonder how he managed to finish only slightly better than Jason. Sure, he drafted a few duds (Bishop Sankey, Jordan Cameron, Dwayne Bowe) and had some injury issues (Stevan Ridley, Brandon Marshall), but for the most part, his draft was solid (Charles, Marshall, Morris, Luck, Roddy White and the late pickup of Kelvin Benjamin). There's no doubt Merrill had a good team --- he scored the second most points in the league.
It seems that Merrill's biggest obstacle this season was just bad luck --- in the form of the Brothers Graham. Jody beat Merrill in an 87-84 squeaker in week 9, and Kevin followed that up with an even narrower 60-59 victory in week 12. If Merrill had gotten the win in either of those games, he would have gone to the playoffs and finished second.
So Jody, Kevin, think of this as a bit of ground glass you can put in Merrill's wounds and rub on it any time Merrill gets too annoying (of course he would never do that).
Air Apparent: 2014 was a typical season for Taylor, by which I mean that he put his team in a strong position to win --- winning 7 games in the first ten weeks --- and then fell off the face of the earth, losing FIVE straight before finally beating Merrill in week 16 in a game that both guys probably didn't care about.
It's no coincidence that Taylor's season took a nosedive right about the time that Andre Ellington and Jimmy Graham more or less gave up for the season. Which is too bad, because Taylor had the foresight to draft Jeremy Hill in the 9th round --- it's a shame has wasn't able to profit from that pick. Still, all seven of Taylor's regular-season losses were earned; unlike Merrill, Taylor never lost a game by fewer than 5 points.
Whatever you might say about the half-dozen teams I've discussed so far, they all accomplished one feat that eluded the next two teams on the list: all of them outscored the league at least once during the season.
Psychotic Ninjas: Until this very minute, it was a mystery to me why my season was so mediocre. And actually, I was lucky to make it even to 7-7 after scoring the fourth-fewest points in the league.
But then I looked back at my draft, and I see the problem. Montee Ball in the second round --- he was mediocre-to-bad even before he got injured --- then Percy Harvin, Shane Vereen and Michael Floyd with picks 4-6 left me scrambling all season long. Of course I had the sense to draft C.J. Anderson in the 14th round --- but it didn't do me a lick of good until week 10, by which point I had dropped him. Thanks, guys, for letting me pick him back up again!
The irony here is that while usually I do a terrible job of making trades, this season I made at least two trades which clearly worked out in my favor: Percy Harvin for Justin Forsett, and Michael Floyd and Jonas Gray for Mike Evans. But as was the case with Jody, Merrill and Taylor, it was a case of too little, too late, and the Ninjas ended up missing the playoffs for just the second time in 8 years.
Hollow Graham's: That's the name I meant for Jody to use, by the way. 'Hollow Graham's', not 'HOLLOW Graham's'. Not sure why he decided to post it in ALL CAPS, but whatever. As mentioned elsewhere, the fact that the Graham's and Ninjas finished 5th and 6th means there is no past champion's curse. Or, considering the fact that Pete and Aaron continued to stink up the joint, maybe it just means that the curse only lasts three years, and the Ninjas are immune?
Anyway, Jody actually had a pretty solid draft. C.J. Spiller, Darren McFadden and Jonathan Dwyer were his only real clunkers. Jody's problem was partly just bad luck: In week 14, he lost 71-70 to the eventual league doormat Strike Team. If that game goes the other way, we'd be talking about the amazing worst-to-first season for the Hollow Graham's and I would be spending way too much time talking about how Jody will get the chance to exact his revenge on Aaron for making him play the 2013 season as Little Choo-Choo. Ironic that while Aaron wasn't able to avoid last place, he at least managed to prevent Jody from getting the title.
Jody's other problem was that he had the Eagles' quarterbacks. I didn't think Sanchez would actually be a step down from Foles, but hey, I've been wrong before (see Ball, Montee, drafting of in second round).
Suspended Atomnation: The worst thing you can do is end the season in last place. The second worst thing you can do, in my opinion, is finish fourth. Sure, Adam didn't win any money, but at least he also has a crappy draft position next year. It's a shame, too, because Adam somehow overcame a mediocre draft to be a legit contender, scoring the third most points in the league.
He went with a Packer-heavy draft strategy --- how the hell did we all let Adam pick up Randall Cobb in the FOURTH round? --- and other than Rodgers, Lacy, Cobb, Greg Olsen and a late grab of DeAndre Hopkins, Adam's draft was a talent-free wasteland. But he somehow managed to make things work just well enough to earn the crappy draft position and no money. Well done, Adam.
The Leviathans: Levi would edge out Taylor for biggest late-season nosedive if not for the fact that he managed to finish in the money --- barely.
Consider this. Through the first 9 weeks, Levi won 8 games and led the league in scoring with 727 points --- just shy of 81 points per game. In the final 7 weeks (including playoffs), he managed only two wins and scored a total of 354 points --- just shy of 51 points per game. The reason? It mostly boils down to Peyton Manning and Julius Thomas. Those two combined for 10 total TDs through the first 9 weeks. They got two more in week 10, and that was it. Levi basically didn't have a tight end through the last half of the season (Larry Donnell started strong, had three good games in weeks 9-11, and then disappeared), and of course we all know that Peyton steadily ran out of steam after week 12.
Surprisingly, Levi also managed only a single weekly win. But he captured third place, which is something.
~ AirMex ~: The bad news is, all of Mex's previous TTFFL seasons have been lost to history. The good news is that this season will be preserved, at least as long as this league lives on ESPN. And this season was truly remarkable.
During the 14-week regular season, Mex won 9 games and lost 5. What's remarkable is that his five losses were all in a row, and were followed by NINE consecutive wins (including the first round of the playoffs). Even more remarkable was that win or lose, Mex was never really in a close game during the regular season. He never won a game by fewer than 7 points, and never lost by fewer than FOURTEEN.
So of course, he won his first-round playoff game by 2 in a squeaker. What the hell?
Mex had a decent draft. Doug Martin, Trent Richardson and RG3 were busts, but somehow we let T.Y. Hilton slide all the way down to Mex in the SIXTH ROUND. Guys, we need to step up our game in the draft next year! Mostly it seems that he was very efficient with his points. He scored the fourth-most points in the league, and he saved them up and didn't really start using them until week 7. And, uh, he just kind of ran out of them by the time he got to the playoffs.
And unofficially, we the league record for most consecutive wins is still 9, as Mex ties the 2012 Ninjas squad (the Ninjas still hold the regular season winning streak record though).
Which brings us to the 2014 champions:
Los Diablos: Los Diablos didn't score the most points in the league. In fact, they came in seventh, sandwiched in-between Screaming Eagles and Air Apparent. They had a good draft, but not an outstanding one. They had an excellent start with Matt Forte, Dez Bryant and DeMarco Murray, and had a couple of other good picks in Philip Rivers and DeSean Jackson. But they had clunkers too, in Keenan Allen, Darren Sproles, Dennis Pitta and Riley Cooper.
They even endured a 4-game losing streak, standing at 4-6 through 10 weeks. They took the title because, as so often is the case, they got hot at the right time (and they had a bit of luck).
The turning point for the champs was their 37-36 victory over then league-leader Leviathans. If Levi had started Lamar Miller over Andre Williams that week, I'd be talking about the Hollow Graham's right now (how does that ground glass feel, Jody?).
After that win, Los Diablos had a pretty easy time of it against --- um, Jody --- then Aaron, Pete, Levi again, and finally Mex for the title. Those clowns in the playoffs could have presented Kubicek with a bit more of a challenge, but they didn't, and now everything has gone to hell.
Sorry about that. I worked really hard to set that up; I HAD to cash it in.
And so another TTFFL season goes into the books. Enjoy the rest of the playoffs and the Super Bowl, and I'll being getting in touch with you on July 5!
Jody's other problem was that he had the Eagles' quarterbacks. I didn't think Sanchez would actually be a step down from Foles, but hey, I've been wrong before (see Ball, Montee, drafting of in second round).
Suspended Atomnation: The worst thing you can do is end the season in last place. The second worst thing you can do, in my opinion, is finish fourth. Sure, Adam didn't win any money, but at least he also has a crappy draft position next year. It's a shame, too, because Adam somehow overcame a mediocre draft to be a legit contender, scoring the third most points in the league.
He went with a Packer-heavy draft strategy --- how the hell did we all let Adam pick up Randall Cobb in the FOURTH round? --- and other than Rodgers, Lacy, Cobb, Greg Olsen and a late grab of DeAndre Hopkins, Adam's draft was a talent-free wasteland. But he somehow managed to make things work just well enough to earn the crappy draft position and no money. Well done, Adam.
The Leviathans: Levi would edge out Taylor for biggest late-season nosedive if not for the fact that he managed to finish in the money --- barely.
Consider this. Through the first 9 weeks, Levi won 8 games and led the league in scoring with 727 points --- just shy of 81 points per game. In the final 7 weeks (including playoffs), he managed only two wins and scored a total of 354 points --- just shy of 51 points per game. The reason? It mostly boils down to Peyton Manning and Julius Thomas. Those two combined for 10 total TDs through the first 9 weeks. They got two more in week 10, and that was it. Levi basically didn't have a tight end through the last half of the season (Larry Donnell started strong, had three good games in weeks 9-11, and then disappeared), and of course we all know that Peyton steadily ran out of steam after week 12.
Surprisingly, Levi also managed only a single weekly win. But he captured third place, which is something.
~ AirMex ~: The bad news is, all of Mex's previous TTFFL seasons have been lost to history. The good news is that this season will be preserved, at least as long as this league lives on ESPN. And this season was truly remarkable.
During the 14-week regular season, Mex won 9 games and lost 5. What's remarkable is that his five losses were all in a row, and were followed by NINE consecutive wins (including the first round of the playoffs). Even more remarkable was that win or lose, Mex was never really in a close game during the regular season. He never won a game by fewer than 7 points, and never lost by fewer than FOURTEEN.
So of course, he won his first-round playoff game by 2 in a squeaker. What the hell?
Mex had a decent draft. Doug Martin, Trent Richardson and RG3 were busts, but somehow we let T.Y. Hilton slide all the way down to Mex in the SIXTH ROUND. Guys, we need to step up our game in the draft next year! Mostly it seems that he was very efficient with his points. He scored the fourth-most points in the league, and he saved them up and didn't really start using them until week 7. And, uh, he just kind of ran out of them by the time he got to the playoffs.
And unofficially, we the league record for most consecutive wins is still 9, as Mex ties the 2012 Ninjas squad (the Ninjas still hold the regular season winning streak record though).
Which brings us to the 2014 champions:
Los Diablos: Los Diablos didn't score the most points in the league. In fact, they came in seventh, sandwiched in-between Screaming Eagles and Air Apparent. They had a good draft, but not an outstanding one. They had an excellent start with Matt Forte, Dez Bryant and DeMarco Murray, and had a couple of other good picks in Philip Rivers and DeSean Jackson. But they had clunkers too, in Keenan Allen, Darren Sproles, Dennis Pitta and Riley Cooper.
They even endured a 4-game losing streak, standing at 4-6 through 10 weeks. They took the title because, as so often is the case, they got hot at the right time (and they had a bit of luck).
The turning point for the champs was their 37-36 victory over then league-leader Leviathans. If Levi had started Lamar Miller over Andre Williams that week, I'd be talking about the Hollow Graham's right now (how does that ground glass feel, Jody?).
After that win, Los Diablos had a pretty easy time of it against --- um, Jody --- then Aaron, Pete, Levi again, and finally Mex for the title. Those clowns in the playoffs could have presented Kubicek with a bit more of a challenge, but they didn't, and now everything has gone to hell.
Sorry about that. I worked really hard to set that up; I HAD to cash it in.
And so another TTFFL season goes into the books. Enjoy the rest of the playoffs and the Super Bowl, and I'll being getting in touch with you on July 5!
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