As a wise man once said: "A solid RB can still carry a team to a fantasy title". Kamara carried Levi to a fantasy title ALL BY HIMSELF
I'd like to start out by thanking --- everyone, I guess --- for NOT making the effort to point out just how mind-bogglingly wrong my last post was. Kamara had already done his SIX TD dances at the time that I wrote it, putting Jason in an epic hole.
I'm too lazy to look up the league history to figure out whether this was the most lopsided championship game ever. But I'm confident it's the only time in league history that A SINGLE PLAYER outscored an entire team in a championship game. Hell, it's probably the only time a player has single-handedly won a game at any point in the season. Congratulations to Levi for getting to enjoy this epic beatdown. And I would be remiss if I didn't post my favorite video once again for Jason's benefit (of course, it would have been more appropriate had I posted it on Christmas Day):
It will be hard to come with anything else useful to say after the Kamara/Leviathans title game, but let's see whether maybe I can anyway.
I guess no one should be surprised that Craptastics lost the title game. For one thing, Jason has held onto that crappy team name for 3 seasons now, so he kind of deserves to be crushed like a styrofoam cup under a circus elephant. Also, other than a 3-week aberration from weeks 5-7, the Craptastics didn't crack 80 points all season, scored the fourth-fewest points in the league, and backed into the playoffs on a 2-game losing streak.
It's not surprising that Jason lost; it's absolutely STUNNING that he made it as far as he did.
It's a LITTLE bit surprising that AirMatt fell so far, so fast. He put up the most points in the league, more than 100 more than the next-highest-scoring team (the champion Leviathans), and went into the playoffs with the top seed --- where he promptly dropped two games, including losing the consolation matchup in dramatic fashion. His 63 startable RBs (or whatever the number was) didn't show up for some reason, and instead was handily defeated by Adam and his backfield of (checks notes) --- Mike Davis and Myles Gaskin.
Okay, then.
As of this writing, there is still one game where the outcome is in doubt: the battle for next year's top pick. If Pete loses, it will be because he started Darren Waller over Jimmy Graham, and if Taylor loses, it's because he started Diontae Johnson and Antonio Brown over CeeDee Lamb and Nelson Agholor. Whee! Fantasy football is fun!
And if Aaron beats Kevin, it will be because Aaron decided, what the heck, let's start Aaron Rodgers at QB, while Kevin decided, what the heck, let's leave Derek Carr on the bench and put his backup in the lineup instead.
This was actually the shark move. Kevin has already figured out that the 4-slot is the place he wants to be in next year's draft!
It looks like I beat Merrill in the most pointless playoff game, the battle for the fifth overall pick. Whee. And to round out the league, Jody fired Harbaugh in more ways than one --- losing the Toilet Bowl to Kubicek, thus guaranteeing that his team will be called something else next year.
Unless Levi flakes and doesn't pick a name for Jody's team. Because it kind of feels like we don't do that any more.
In any case, congratulations to everyone for making it through the season which I predicted would never happen! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Blessed solstice! Happy Hannukah! Merry Kwanzaa! Yippee Festivus! And similar felicitations and greetings, no matter how you may choose to celebrate the end of one of the most miserable years of our lifetimes!
End of year accounting and whatnot will be available when I damn well feel like it.
I know I'm coming to this a bit late, but after all it is the holidays. And with no Thursday game this week, we still have a full slate of games ahead of us.
So ---
After our earlier discussion about past champions, and the fact that we've had a different champion each of the last 7 years, I'm really rooting for Jason to pull off the worst-to-first turnaround this year (except that Jason DIDN'T finish in last place last year --- that was TWO years ago, and yet somehow, his team still has the Craptastics moniker. Which, I have to say, diminishes my enthusiasm for them a skoche). I mean, it's a bummer that Kevin and Taylor both got bounced from the first round of the playoffs, but at least Jason still has a shot at winning his first TTFFL title of the modern era!
I haven't looked at the league site recently, but I seem to recall that the system was projecting the title game to be a real nail-biter, with both teams scoring in the mid-70s. And I know that Jason is starting both Derrick Henry AND Le'Veon Bell! With CEH out for the Chiefs, that's a 1-2 RB combo that really packs a punch! And let's face it --- in spite of the popularity of RPOs and the passing game these days, a solid RB can still carry a team to a fantasy title.
And Jason's got TWO of them! So let's all root for the Craptastics, if for no reason other than if he wins the title, he might think about changing his team name!
Well, let me settle in and get real comfy here, while I analyze all of the various playoff scenarios with one week left in the season ---
These teams will make the playoffs:
Craptastics (Geez, Jason, 2019 is over. You can give your team a real name now)
~ AirMex ~ (Geez, Matt, Mex hasn't played in this league for three years. You can give your team a real name now)
Golden Graham's (Geez, Kevin, your team historically has been anything but 'Golden'. You can give your team an appropriate name now)
Leviathans
Suspended Atomnation
Air Apparent
These teams will not make the playoffs: Everyone else.
Whew! What a workout! And as always, the stupid tiebreaker rules that Kubicek rammed through 3 years ago (or whenever) made it especially difficult to figure out!
What's that you say? Not enough blather for you? Okay, let me see if there's anything else worth mentioning. If not, then I'll mention it.
The Craptastics will be either the #1 or #2 seed. Thanks to an early-season beatdown by AirMatt, The Craptastics will fall to the #2 position if they lose to AirMatt again by any margin whatsoever. Otherwise, they take the top seed.
~ AirMatt ~, as mentioned above, can claim the top seed with a victory this week over The Craptastics. Interestingly enough (speak for yourself, Dave!) --- a loss will drop AirMatt to the #4 seed, thanks to Kubicek's tiebreaker and losses to Golden Grahams, Air Apparent and Leviathans.
Golden Grahams, as noted above, take the #2 seed with a win and an AirMatt loss. If Golden Grahams and AirMatt both lose, then I don't know what happens, since both teams will be 8-5, along with the winner of the Air Apparent/Leviathans matchup, and possibly Adam as well. The bottom line appears to be that the #2 seed is kind of up for grabs if AirMatt loses.
Leviathans, Suspended Atomnation, Air Apparent --- you get the idea.
And really, that's all there is to say, since none of the other teams really matter.
Well, I'm at the car dealership, waiting for them to finish doing some maintenance on my car, so I guess I'll do what I can to provide you all with some pernicious nonsense.
For starters, I'd just like to say that I am great at identifying breakout QBs, but not always great at drafting them. Two years ago, in another league, I was targeting Patrick Mahomes --- I want to say it was in the 8th round. But no, THREE PICKS BEFORE MINE, dumb old Matt went ahead and sniped him from me. But I won that league that year anyway.
Last year, I actually managed to draft Lamar Jackson in three leagues --- but succeeded in winning none of them.
This year, I correctly identified Josh Allen as the sleeper QB to draft, but no, dumb old Pete went ahead and sniped him from me in the 10th.
And so, yes. I am blaming my poor showing thus far this season on Pete stealing Josh Allen from me in the draft, and not the fact that I forget to make waiver wire claims.
On the other hand, I am quite literally stunned to find myself ahead of Merrill in the standings, considering that he successfully acquired Mahomes in a trade which seems heavily weighted in his favor, and then dealt him away in another trade which seemed just as heavily weighted against him. But honestly, even if I finish 11th overall this season, I will consider it a success if I finish ahead of Merrill, especially considering how shamelessly I've been phoning it in this year.
I mean --- holy crap! Not only is he behind ME in the standings, but he's trailing the league in scoring! It would appear that the champions' curse has returned!
Who else can I make fun of? Well, the obvious next target is Jody, who has managed the amazing feat of scoring the second-most points in the league, and converting them into a league-low two wins. I mean, you would think it would be mathematically impossible to be second in points scored while losing to me and Merrill, and yet, there he is. And as bad as it is, it could have been worse. If Pete had managed to put up just another 1.4 points in week 4, Jody would be 1-8 (and if Taylor had additionally scored just a hair more than 4 points last week, Jody would be winless).
Truly, a stellar display of inefficiency, Jody!
Eh, that's all I've got. I do like the fact that, with 4 weeks left, it appears that literally everyone is still in contention for a playoff spot --- and literally everyone is still at risk for missing the playoffs. Matt is leading the league in points scored by a fair margin, but we all know he has shown a Taylor-like ability to fold in the stretch.
I've read the room, and we have a draft in about 5 weeks. So instead of trying to put things through a vote, I'm just going to make an executive decision.
There will be no changes to the basic format of the league. In the unlikely event that the NFL plays 16 regular season games this year, then the league will play out just like it did last year (with someone other than Merrill winning, obviously).
However, we do need to add one or more IR positions to our rosters to accommodate players who contract the virus. Please go to the league site to vote on whether we should add one or two such positions. The poll will close sometime on Sunday, August 9. Like, around 9:00 PM CT.
That only leaves the detail of finances. The regular $15 weekly prize for high-point scorer will be paid as usual. When if the NFL shortens/cancels the season, the money remaining in the prize pool will be divided as follows, depending on when the NFL regular season ends. If the season ends after ______, then the prize pool will be divided as follows _______:
Weeks 1-12: Divided equally among all twelve owners
Week 13: Divided equally among the six playoff teams
Week 14: Divided equally among the four remaining playoff teams
Week 15: $217.50 to each team in the title game, $30 to each team in the consolation game
But before we can divide up the money, I need to collect all of it first. So if you owe dues for 2020, make sure to get them in ASAP!
Check your email for exact amounts due and payment info.
For some reason, this just seems an appropriate choice for 2020
I know you guys generally hate any and all ideas I have for improving the league, and I wouldn't suggest this if the world weren't going to hell this weren't a uniquely challenging time. But considering the fact that, even in the unlikely event that there IS a 2020 NFL season, it could end at any moment, it seems like we should seriously consider playing a different format this season.
And that format is: Guillotine league. (Actually, a modified guillotine league, but there's no reason to --- ahem --- split hairs).
Since I would estimate that there is approximately NO chance the NFL plays a full 16-game season, the guillotine league format provides a sort of escape hatch. Here's the basic idea.
There are no head-to-head matchups. Everything is based on points until the championship game in week 16, if things last that long.
Every so often, the 'guillotine' will fall, and the team with the fewest points on the season will be kicked out of the league. All of the players on that team then return to the player pool to be picked up on waivers (and what a great thing that we now use a blind-bidding auction system for waivers!).
Specifically, the team with the lowest point total will be kicked out after weeks 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 and 15. Week 16 will still be championship week, with a head-to-head matchup between the remaining two teams, who will be STACKED!
And if the NFL shutters the 2020 season at any point, the money in the prize pool will be split equally among all surviving teams.
Or, if we want to reward the high-point scorer and punish the low-point scorer, we could agree to split the prize pool proportionally.
So anyway --- thoughts?
(Another fun league format is called vampire, but it really isn't helpful in the current circumstance. But I'd be happy to describe it to anyone who's curious)
Dr. Allen Sills, the NFL's chief medical officer, said Thursday night that the NFL hopes to plow a road for the entire country as it deals with the pandemic.
"I think this is important not just for the NFL or for professional sports -- not even for sports at all levels," Sills said at a virtual meeting of the American Orthopaedic Society for Sports Medicine. "I think what we are trying to do -- which is to find a way to mitigate risk and to coexist with this virus -- this is really key information for schools, for businesses, for all segments of society. I think we have a unique opportunity but also a responsibility to use the platform and resources of the NFL to really study and learn and to take that knowledge and apply it for the benefit of the other segments of the society. That is what we plan to do."
And on the other hand, we have this:
So I really don't know what to expect. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that there won't even be an NFL season. I mean, look what's happened to colleges that tried to start their football season:
Some of those were college athletes. Through Wednesday, at least 426 had tested positive for the coronavirus among roughly 50 Division I programs, but the number of cases is likely much higher. About half of American universities either did not respond to requests for testing results from The New York Times, or declined to provide numbers, under the auspices of protecting the privacy of student-athletes.
But of course, the NFL is a billion-dollar business, capable of devoting many more resources to the safety of their players than colleges can. For example, I especially like this part of the NFL's plan for dealing with the virus:
If there is a fear of in-game exposure, the NFL will make use of radio-frequency identification tracking devices embedded in each player's shoulder pads to determine whom that player was within 6 feet of during the game.
It's great that the NFL plans to use technology to determine that a given player came within 6 feet of LITERALLY EVERY OTHER PLAYER AND COACH on his own team during the course of the game, and HALF of the players on the other team.
Obviously, if there's no NFL season, then there's no fantasy season. And just as obviously, if the NFL cancels it's season, it's not going to happen until the last minute. So I've actually scheduled our draft for Wednesday, September 9 at 7:30 PM Central time. I haven't made any other changes to the league yet, but I STRONGLY recommend that we add 3 IR slots to our rosters. In the event that there actually is a season, players will get sick, and we will probably want to have the IR slots available when they do.
First things first. Here is the draft order for 2020:
Suspended Atomnation
Golden Graham's
Team Harbaughs
~ AirMatt ~
Orion River Horses
Leviathans
The Team Formerly Known as the Craptastics
The Team Formerly Known as Strike Team
Los Diablos
Psychotic Ninjas
Air Apparent
Merrill
Second things second. Here is how much money I owe everyone:
Merrill: $300 for the title, plus weekly wins in weeks 3, 4, 5 and 9, makes $360. After deducting 2020 dues, Merrill gets $300. - Check mailed 2/5/2020.
Taylor: $120 for second place, plus weekly wins in weeks 6 and 10, makes $150. After deducting 2020 dues, Taylor gets $90. - Check mailed 1/30/2020
Myself: $60 for third place, plus a lonely weekly win in week 16, makes $75. After deducting 2020 dues, I get $15.
Jody: Actually won BOTH of the first two weeks of the season, then fell off from there. So Jody has a $30 credit going into 2020.
Kevin: Really came on at the end (after it was too late), winning weeks 12 and 15. So Kevin also has a $30 credit going into 2020.
Aaron: Aaron really likes living in the basement, he does, claiming last place for (I think) the fifth time in the four years we've had this rule. Anyway, he did manage to win week 7, so he has a $15 credit going into 2020.
Matt: Won week 8, for a $15 credit going into 2020.
Pete: Won week 11, for a $15 credit going into 2020.
Kubicek: Even though we was the #1 seed, he didn't win a week until week 13. And his playoff performances were forgettable. $15 credit going into 2020.
Adam: Won week 14 for a $15 credit going into 2020.
Jason lived down to his team name, winning NO weeks in 2019. Levi didn't either, so both of them get doodly-squat.
It appears that I actually need to send money to Merrill and Taylor. So if you guys will email me and let me know either a mailing address where I can send a check, or an email address where I can send you your money via PayPal, that would be great.
Aaron, I want to apologize in advance for whatever team name Merrill decides to saddle you with next year. For some reason, I don't think he'll be quite as casual about it as Matt was when he named Jason's team this year. But you knew the risks when you decide to finish last!
Sorry that there wasn't more pernicious nonsense, or badinage and schadenfreude for that matter, this season. There may be more of that next year; there might not. At this point, it's hard to say.
