Break Up the Graham's

For several years, the average score in our league was almost exactly 63 points. Now, five weeks into our new scoring system, it looks like the new benchmark is 100. So far this year, exactly half of team point totals have been above 100 and exactly half below 100, meaning that if you score over 100 points, you should win more than half the time.

With that in mind, I looked back at the first part of the season to see how everyone is doing versus what they deserve (using the 100 line). I also looked at how our drafts are working out. When you revisit our teams’ entire drafts, it’s surprising how awful they look. What begins with so much promise looks so dismal five weeks out. Most of us, Air Apparent included, could put two-thirds of our draftees on waivers, if we haven't already, and hardly notice the difference. But a few teams did make some very good selections in the sixth round and beyond that are worth noting.

The Marauders. Are 4-1. Should be 4-1.

Marauders were champions in 2019 and maybe celebrated a little too much. They fell to 5-8 last year and were at the bottom of the heap in points scored. Dead last. Just by watching the waiver wire activity, you can definitely see that there is a renewed sense of purpose in the Marauders’ front office. The Marauders were a week ahead on smash performances by Kadarius Toney and Dawson Knox, and, clearly looking toward the playoffs, just picked up Jerry Jeudy even though he's going to remain on the shelf indefinitely. The Marauders will have to weather several weeks without their old security blanket, Russell Wilson, who guided them to their 2019 title. In Wilson’s absence, the Marauders will retain the benefit of one of the best bargains from the draft. They snagged Deebo Samuel halfway through the eighth round. Samuel is now the fifth-highest scoring wide receiver. Marauders’ first and second-round choices, Alvin Kamara and Stefon Diggs, have been middling to disappointing so far, meaning that this team could have an explosive rest of the season if those two get going.

~ AirMex ~. Is 4-1. Should be 2-3.

As I said at the beginning of the year, ~ AirMex ~ is like the Raiders of old. There is always turmoil, but they just win (baby). Even on Monday night, just as the actual Raiders were firing their coach over his e-mails, Mark Andrews brought Mex back from the dead with an out-of-the-blue 30.7 point performance. Mex’s draft does not look mind blowing in retrospect, but its grade might be about to rise. This week, as the fantasy football pundits advised people to blow their entire free agent budgets to acquire Darrel Williams following the Clyde Edwards-Helaire injury, owners in our league saw no such option. Williams has been biding his time on Mex’s bench ever since Mex took him in the 17th round of our draft.

Detroit KneeBiters, formerly Harbaughs. Are 3-2. Should be 3-2.

The KneeBaughs were on the brink of their second huge comeback in a row when Austin Ekeler put them on his back in the second half on Sunday. But that was before Andrews’ performed his Monday Night magic for Mex, sending the Knees to 3-2. The Knees, unlike Mex, did not draft Darrel Williams, leaving them with almost no able-bodied running backs after CEH went down. No matter, KneeBaugh owner George Steinbrenner spent 25 percent of his free agent budget to acquire Devontae Booker. That was just one week after Steinbrenner unloaded 50 percent of that budget to make Josh Gordon a KneeBaugh. With that sort of reliance on free agency, it’s understandable if the KneeBaughs did not worry too much about the draft, but …  well, there really isn’t too much a “but.” The Baughs struck gold with Ekeler at 8th overall and A.J. Green is looking like a steal at 161. But the landscape in between is pretty barren, save maybe for Jalen Hurts and his ability to squeeze fantasy points out of hideous performances. Still, the Knees are winning. And they were high for the week in Week 4, relying on Ekeler to hand Marauders their only loss. (The Marauders were second highest in points that week, meaning they would still be undefeated if they’d played anyone else.)

The Leviathans. Are 4-1. Should be 2-3.

The Leviathans, our defending champions, are kind of a like Air Mex minus the turmoil. Every couple of years, they are right in the thick of the championship chase. In fact, they have won the championship two of the last four years. Right now, they are one of only two teams to have two running backs in the top 12 in points scored, helped out by sixth-round draft pick Kareem Hunt, who is sixth overall in RB points, and Najae Harris, who is, so far, very durable. Travis Kelce is a points dispenser. And Josh Allen runs up points very very quickly, especially against my Air Apparents.

Screaming Eagles. Are 3-2. Should be 3-2.

The Eagles, last year’s runners up, have steadily posted 100+ weeks with the help of a draft that looks spectacularly solid. Each of the Eagles’ top seven draft picks is chugging along. No other team has avoided busts so well. Meanwhile, the Eagles’ players have delivered occasional explosions, like when Tyreek Hill posted a 37-point week. James Robinson and Antonio Gibson have evoked many grumbles from fantasy owners, but they are both in the top 12 among running backs in fantasy points scored. Even Leonard Fournette is barely outside the top 20. And with Thielen and Claypool and Dak, that’s not bad.

Air Apparent. Are 3-2. Should be 3-2.

Your commissioner’s team feels very fortunate to be 3-2. Almost every week has looked like a certain defeat at one point or another. Since Laces Out sniped my preferred players, I’m left with replacement level quarterbacks and tight ends, left to hope that the locomotive (Derek Henry) gets rolling and that Cooper Kupp does whatever he somehow does.

Los Diablos. Are 2-3. Should be 2-3.

Diablos woke up Monday morning staring at a gloomy 1-4 record only to be rescued that night by a 28.9 point outburst by Jonathan Taylor to eeeeeeeek out a 125.36 to 125.22 win over the Golden Graham’s. That’s a 0.14 point margin. For reference, our league now awards 0.1 point per yard rushing and receiving, meaning that an extra two yards would have done it for the Graham’s. (The Graham’s also could have made up the difference if they didn’t leave Mike Williams’ 28.5 points on their bench.) Coming off such an exhilarating escape, the Diablos could be dangerous. The Diablos will look for bouncebacks from second- and fourth-round draft picks DeAndre Hopkins and Robert Woods, who have been disappointing, and a recovery by David Montgomery, who is injured. But the Diablos have papered over some of those underwhelming selections by picking Ja’Marr Chase halfway through the sixth round. Chase is sixth overall in points by a receiver.

Golden Graham’s. Are 2-3. Should be 2-3.

The Golden Graham’s are an interesting case. They’ve had tough luck, temporarily losing their first-round draft pick Dalvin Cook to injury (though it's not as bad as last year, when the Graham’s first rounder was almost immediately lost for the season). Most of the Graham’s draft choices look ho-hum except for Justin Herbert, who is a threat to score 50 points at any moment, and the man on the receiving end of all those points, Mike Williams, who is 1st in fantasy points among all receivers. Graham’s chose Williams at the end of the eighth round, which has to make him the best sleeper pick in the draft. You also have to give Graham’s credit for scooping punt returner Cordarrelle Patterson off of waivers way back in Week 3. Patterson is now 5th in running back points. One other thing about the Graham’s: IBM Watson loves them. Even though they are in 8th place, Watson gives them the fourth best chance to make the playoffs. And in the “Final Standings Projections” (brought to you by Snickers) on our league’s home page, Graham’s are predicted to finish second,* which means favored to reach the championship game. Once again, they are currently in 8th place. Graham’s were scoring champs in Week 3.

Laces Out. Are 2-3. Should be 2-3.

Laces Out’s reputation preceded them into the league, and they put together what appeared to me to be one of the best drafts. As I look at it now, it still looks like one of the best drafts. You’ve got Aaron Jones, Saquon Barkley, Amari Cooper and Kyler Murray in the first five rounds. They’ve all been good to great, except for Barkley getting injured. And Noah Fant has been good, as have Brandin Cooks and Tyler Higbee. Laces also has been surgical on the waiver wire, picking up Dalton Schultz and Derek Carr, who many teams would covet. So, I’m somewhat unclear how they are 2-3.

Orion River Horses. Are 2-3. Should be 3-2.

The Horses snubbed the fantasy football lords by saying “no thank you” to Christian McCaffrey with the first overall draft pick, which looks smarter and smarter each week that CMC is out. Their alternative, Patrick Mahomes, is second in QB fantasy points. The other highlight of the Horses’ draft was taking D.J. Moore in the fourth round. I don’t not see too much else to love about their draft, but somehow, the OHR are second overall in points scored. The Horses won weekly honors in Week 1, and their 109 points last week would have been enough to raise them to 3-2 – except that Atom scored 163.

Suspended Atomnation. Is 1-4. Should be 2-3 (sort of).

Atom might be the second least lucky team so far this year, in victory as well as in defeat. The Atoms went into Monday night needing serviceable performances from Lamar Jackson and/or Marquise Brown to record their first win. Brown put up 25 points, which was more than enough to get the job done. Meanwhile, Jackson rang up nearly 50. Atom needed exactly zero of those 50 to win. What this leads to is that the Atoms now hold the all-time record for single-game points under our new system (thus easily capturing the Week 5 sweepstakes) and are leading our league in overall points by a nice margin – and they're in 11th place. Atoms tend to bounce back, however. Back in 2018, hungover from a championship, Atom started out 1-7, but finished 7-9 if you count the playoffs.

Strike Team. Is 0-5. Should be 2-3.

Fortune has not been on the Strike Team’s side, even when it looked like it was. They lucked into Christian McCaffrey with the third pick of the draft, which looked positively great for two weeks. Then CMC got injured. The next week, Strike’s third-round pick, George Kittle, also got injured. Strike’s sixth rounder was Jerry Jeudy. He got injured in the season opener, and is now recuperating on the Marauders’ bench. And Strike’s ninth-rounder Michael Gallup ... yep, he also got injured in Week 1. On the bright side, Strike drafted Elijah Mitchell, the unknown rookie who sprang off the bench to rush for 100 yards and capture the 49ers running back job. Nobody drafted Elijah Mitchell. But, then, Mitchell got, well, injured. Strike also had the foresight to choose Rob Gronkowski in the 12th round, and the resurgent Gronk immediately rocketed to the top of the TE charts. But then Gronk, unfortunately, punctured his lung.** With the help of 78 year-old Tom Brady, the points leader among QBs, Strike has hung around, coming within five points of winning three times. Strike’s most heartbreaking defeat came in Week 2, when Mason Crosby delivered nothing but extra points during a Monday night blowout, causing Strike to fall 117.9 to 117.4.

* Following Thursday night’s game, Watson lowered Graham’s expected finish from second to third. But still …

** Making light of Strike's plight, not Gronk's condition. We hope that his injury is not truly serious.