Final Regular-Season Standings

Okay, everyone who saw this coming, raise your hand.

I mean, okay, I know I'm good, but 9 straight wins worth of good?  Especially after starting out 0-5?  Unbelieveable.

And another remarkable aspect of the final standings in 2012 has to do with quarterbacks.  Recall the first three picks of this year's draft:

1. Tom Brady (Psychotic Ninjas, traded to Atomnation after week 4)
2. Aaron Rodgers (Los Diablos)
3. Drew Brees (Leviathans)

NONE of the teams with those QBs made the playoffs, only the Leviathans were even in it in week 14, and recall that when Brady was playing for the Ninjas, they went 0-4.  The team with RG3 (the River Horses, soon to be the Prima Ballerinas) also finished well out of the money, ending the season on a 5-game losing streak.  Of the four playoff teams, only Strike Team (Peyton) has a QB who was truly elite for most of the season, although Cam Newton has been coming on strong for Merrill lately.  And the Ninjas and Eagles captured the top two seeds, and finished in the top three in overall points, with Tony Romo and Eli Manning, who finished 14th and 16th in QB scoring, respectively.  Finally, Air Apparent, who led the league in scoring, did it with Matt Ryan, the 9th-scoring QB.

So much for the notion that drafting a top QB early is a winning strategy.

Anyway, without further ado, here's how things stand heading into the playoffs where, for the first time ever, ALL TWELVE TEAMS will have something to play for through week 16.

1. Psychotic Ninjas (9-5, 952 points)  Woo-hoo!  THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!  Blasting into the playoffs as the #1 seed and riding a 9-game winning streak, the Ninjas defeated each of the three other playoff teams the last time they played.  Can they keep it up for 2 more weeks, or have they peaked too soon?
2. Screaming Eagles (9-5, 946 points) The Eagles would like to pretend weeks 9-12 never happened.  That's when they went on a 4-game losing streak which dropped them from dominating league-leader to near also-ran.  Can they bounce back against Merrill?
3. Merrill's Marauders (9-5, 863 points) If it weren't for the Ninjas, the Marauders would be the hottest team in the league.  They ride into the playoffs with a 4-game win streak which started week 11 against the Eagles.  With Cam Newton playing like an elite QB, they might bully their way to the title.
4. Strike Team (9-5, 831 points) Aaron also charges into the playoffs on a 4-game win streak; their last loss came to the Ninjas in week 10.  Strike Team's strength is Peyton Manning, back in Hall of Fame form; their major weakness is in their starting backfield of Reggie Bush and Montell Owens.
5. Golden Grahams (8-6, 814 points) The fantasy gods teased Kevin a bit this year, awarding him a late-week victory in week 5 over the Ninjas, the last time they lost.  And they raised his hopes of finally claiming the prize, putting him in sole possession of first place after week 12.  Consecutive losses in the season's final two weeks left him on the outside looking in, but with the consolation that a strong playoff showing might finally leave him with the first overall draft pick in 2013.
6. Air Apparent (7-7, 976 points) Yet again, Taylor finishes at or near the top in points scored, yet misses the playoffs.  At least this year, his high point total might serve him well in positioning for next year's draft.
7. The Leviathans (7-7, 932 points) Like Kevin, Levi got to the threshold of the playoffs, sitting at 7-5 after 12 weeks with his fate in his own hands.  But like Kevin, a season-ending 2-game losing streak left the Leviathans in the upper consolation bracket.
8. Team Datanator (7-7, 873 points) Four of Nick's losses this season came by a combined total of 8 points.  It's kind of scary to think how different the final standing might be if Nick paid more attention to his lineup.
9. Los Diablos (7-7, 870 points) What's surprising about Los Diablos' season isn't the 7-7 finish.  After all, wins and losses are fairly unpredictable.  The really surprising thing is that with Aaron Rodgers at QB, Los Diablos only managed to finish 7th in points scored.  The real killer for Los Diablos' season was the 3-game skid in weeks 11-13, during which Los Diablos only managed to average a bit more than 41 points a week.  My primary goal the next two weeks is to win the title; my secondary goal is to see Kubicek drop his final two games, so I get to name his team next year.
10. Newnan Puttheads (4-10, 931 points) Like Taylor, Jody has an amazing ability to score lots of points while losing lots of games.  Other than winning the title in 2010, Jody generally has totally crappy luck.  On the plus side, with him in the bottom loser's bracket, it's more likely Kubicek will take the bottom slot.
11. Suspended Atomnation (4-10, 813 points) Karma!  In weeks 1-10, Adam only managed a single victory, and that was a pitiful 47-46 victory over the pitiful Orion River Horses.  I forget when Adam finally paid his dues (and kicked an extra $15 into the title pot), but I DO know that he finished the season strong, wining 3 of his final 4.  Feeling nervous yet, Kubicek?
12. Orion River Horses (4-10, 811 points) Yikes!  What happened to our defending champ?  I'm sure I don't know --- part of it has to do with his acknowledged knack for keeping his best performers on his bench --- but Pete finished the regular season in style, losing his final five.  Let's hope he can put it all together just once in week 15, to get Kubicek into the Toilet Bowl

In closing, gentlemen, I'd like to leave you with this one thought heading into the playoff weeks:

WOO-HOO!!! NINJAS RULE!!!  WINNERS OF 9 STRAIGHT, AND ON TO THE TITLE, BABY!!! THAT'S RIGHT, SUCKERS, READ 'EM AND WEEP!!!