Week 12 Playoff Scenarios

As we head into the stretch run, let's see how everyone is doing . . . .

Leading the Charge
At the top of the league, there's Jason and Taylor in first and second place, respectively, with matching 8-3 records.  Neither has clinched a playoff spot yet, and they can't clinch this week, but a victory will get them awfully damn close.  As mentioned in my last post, Taylor has decided to win games rather than score points this year (at second place, he's only scored the fifth-most points), and it seems to be serving him well.  Jason meanwhile started off the season with a 112-76 shellacking of yours truly, and has held the lead in total points (and possibly been in first place, again, I'm too lazy to check) ever since.

So, it's almost certain he's going to lose the rest of his games and just barely miss out on the playoffs.

Sitting Pretty
At 7-4, Suspended Atomnation and THE MIGHTY NINJAS sit at 3rd and 4th place, respectively.  Not much to say at this stage of the season, except that, for crying out loud, I lost to Nick in week 10 even though he didn't start a QB or a kicker!!!  What the hell?  Tavon Austin scored more points in week 10 than he did in weeks 1-9 combined, and his return TD counted TWICE because Nick also had the Rams D/ST.  And no one bothered to give me crap about it!  What's wrong with you people?

On the Bubble
Speaking of Nick, he and Levi square off in week 12 with a lot on the line.  The winner stands a good chance of getting to the playoffs, while the loser definitely has an uphill climb the rest of the way.  The remaining bubble teams are Kevin's fifth-place Golden Graham's, facing a tough matchup this week against Taylor, and defending champion Strike Team, facing another tough matchup against THE MIGHTY NINJAS.  At 5-6, a loss this week likely knocks him out of the playoffs --- and it will definitely knock him out if Adam wins his matchup with Pete.

On Life Support
At 4-7, the 9th-place Marauders and the 10th-place River Horses aren't dead yet, but they might as well be.  One more loss knocks either of them out, and even if either of them runs the table, their season is over if Atomnation and the Ninjas win just one more game each.  For these guys, it's probably best to focus their efforts on trying to finish in the middle playoff bracket (seeds 5-8), so they have a shot at the first overall pick next year.

Thanks for Playing
Jody, or as his friends know him, Little Choo-Choo, and Kubicek are both done for the season.  Kubicek's season was done well before it started, actually, when he slept through his alarm and missed the first hour of the draft (that Turkey).  Kubicek's 1-10 record is so bad he's already guaranteed to compete for last place, and at 3-8, Jody doesn't have much hope to avoid the 'toilet bowl' himself.  Adding insult to injury, these guys are playing each other this weekend, so they can't even do any damage to any contenders.

Man, wouldn't it suck if Jody had to give up the Puttheads nickname for two years running?

Hail to Los Diablos!!!

Yes, hail the almighty Diablos, hail.  Congratulations not only on ending your epic 8-game losing streak (besting your 2011 start-of-season losing streak by one game), but on doing it against Jason.  Well done, Paul, well done indeed.

In fact, since I don't have to play you again this season (and since there's no way you're making the playoffs), I'm going to be rooting for you in all the rest of your games.  Sure I'm currently sitting on the 3-seed, but I'll take all the help I can get.

Sorry I haven't provided my usual amount of Commissioner blather this year, but what can I say; I been busy.  So this post will have to be a poor substitute for a belated mid-season status report.  And I'd like to emphasize, if I may, the word 'poor'.

Starting at the bottom of the standings, we have the aforementioned proud Diablos, sitting on a one-game winning streak.  While the autopicker may have screwed Paul but good, it did at least give him some players who might be valuable from this point of the season forward (Shane Vereen, Percy Harvin).  So maybe Los Diablos can still make some noise for the rest of the season, maybe win a week or two, and make life a little easier for league-leaders such as myself.

Moving up one notch --- what is wrong with Jody?  Seriously.  The guy finishes last in the league in 2012, picks up a new team name, and then proceeds to continue the suckiness into 2013.  His roster does read like a who's who of fantasy disappointment: Chris Johnson (or is he back, finally?), Steven Jackson, Steve Smith, Marques Colston, RGIII --- not a good year for Choo Choo.

No need, however, to ask what's wrong with Merrill: he sucks.  We all know this.  And while the autopicker screwed Kubicek at the beginning of the year, Kubicek managed to spread some of the misery to Merill with a clever 2-for-1 trade which sent Arian Foster and his hamstring to the Marauders in exchange for both Buffalo RBs, thus allowing Kubicek to pick the wrong one almost every week while Merrill gets the 'nope, I'm not ready yet' zero from Foster each week.

Defending champion Strike Team is sitting comfortably in ninth place at the moment, but still in the playoff hunt at 4-5.  Aaron has also seen his share of disappointment with, for example, Tom Brady.  But at least he kept the faith in starting him in week 9, and thus was able to ride the wave past Kevin for the win.

Next up are the River Horses, who I had planned to mock for starting Jason Campbell last week until they damn near beat me with him.  I have no idea whether Pete drafted well, and neither does he, as more than half of his current roster consists of free agent pickups.  That's no way to build a team, Pete.  You need to draft talent and develop it on your own, like the Packers and Ravens (who maybe aren't such a good example right now, but --- moving on).

Once again this year, Nick and his confusingly-named Rock-n-it Datarocknators are showing that autodraft actually can get you a mildly competitive team.  Of course, it didn't work out for Kubicek, but I'm choosing to blame that on the fact that he actually showed up for the last half of the draft and drafted about half of his team himself.  If he had let autopilot take it all the way like Nick, I feel confident that Kubicek would be 4-4-1 as well.

It seems like every year, there's at least one team (Taylor) who scores a bunch of points yet somehow manages to have a crappy record.  That is surprisingly not the case this year, but the guy with the most to complain about in this department is Kevin, who sits in sixth place at 4-4-1 despite scoring the fourth-most points in the league.  So we all shrug our shoulders and say eh, so what, it's Kevin.  He does have the Stafford/Megatron combo, though and --- let's check quick --- yeah, I'm not playing him again, either, so go for it, Kevin.  Score a bunch more points, really knock it out of the park.  Just stay out of the playoffs.

This brings us to the Leviathans, just barely on the outside looking in if the playoffs started today --- the same place where they finished last season, as a matter of fact.  He should be able to do some damage in the final 5 games of the season, with AP and the combination of Kaepernick and Vernon Davis --- which would be a lot more potent if the 49ers hadn't suddenly remembered that they're a run-first team.  I also notice that ALMOST half of Levi's team are free agent acquisitions --- like father, like son, I guess.

Now we finally get to discuss the top four teams at the moment, starting with Taylor and his overachieving Air Apparent, who put up 109 points this past week.  That's probably a high for the season; I don't know, I'm too lazy to check.  Whatever the case may be, I'm getting really tired of finishing SECOND in points each week.  This is the FIFTH week this year that I've been second in overall points, thus missing out on the $15 weekly prize.  You guys are killing me!  Anyway, despite his strong showing this past week, Taylor is actually uncharacteristically LOW in scoring this year at only fifth overall.  Which, I guess, means that we should all be very afraid of him.

As for the third-place Ninjas, what can I say that hasn't already been said?  That's right; third in terms of record, third in overall points scored, no holes in the roster.  You've been warned.

The Screaming Eagles are currently second both by record and by total points scored, and would probably be rubbing elbows with Merrill and Kubicek right about now if it weren't for the mighty Peyton Manning.  Actually, the guy's got Alf Morris too, who might eventually get one or two goal line carries when Shanahan gets tired of giving them to guys he pulls off the street, plus a murderer's row of receivers in Marshall, VJax and Eric Decker.  So, um, please don't hurt me, Jason (yeah, but I've got Gronk AND Jordan Cameron for my tight ends, so nanny-nanny boo-boo!).

And last --- and probably least --- is Adam, sitting proudly atop the league with the only 7-2 record AND the most points scored on the season, despite his recent loss to the Leviathans.  It's actually kind of hard to figure out how Adam has done this well with players like Tony Romo (sure, he had one HUGE game, but has been very average otherwise), Ray Rice and Antonio Brown, but somehow he's made it work.

I would be very nervous if I were you, Adam.  You've been in this league long enough to know that success almost never lasts.  You may be lucky to finish the season 8-6.

And with that, let's begin the charge to the playoffs!  Los Diablos' season is over, of course, but everyone else still has a chance.  And lest we all forget, it most certainly IS possible to stage a run into the playoffs almost no matter how bad off you are.  Let's not forget the lesson of last year's little engine that could (sorry, Jody), when the Ninjas staged a mad, 9-win run to go from worst to first in the final game of the regular season!

(Before losing both playoff games and ending up with a crappy draft pick AND no money.  Like I said, success almost never lasts in this league.)

This is how I imagine Jason's face as he realized that the only member of his team to find the end zone last week was Manning. 30 points from your QB doesn't count for much when your rushing/receiving players only put up 15!

Poor Little Choo Choo ...

... off the rails already. Better luck next week!

Week 1 in Review

Note that the title is NOT 'Weak One in Review', because if it were, I would have to talk about Merrill the whole time.  Good Lord did his team suck swamp water last week.  They even underperformed Kubicek and his steaming pile of autodraft, which is pretty damn impressive.

Speaking of autodrafted teams, the Rock-n-it-Datanators actually beat Taylor last week, which goes to show that it's possible to win using autodraft, as long as the system doesn't draft THREE players for you who will miss at least half the season.  It also goes to show that Taylor's lucky streak (as in, his utterly failing to have any luck of any kind, ever) is still alive and well.

As for me, I consider it a moral victory that Jason hung 59 points on me Thursday night, and I still managed to close the gap to 36 by the end of the week.  I've had my one loss for the season --- and I essentially have a bye coming up this week against Merrill --- so it's pretty clear the Ninjas are going to be a force once again this year.

No Cheating!

Enough said.

Groovy

Most of you don't know this about me, but I earn my living as a software engineer. I write lovely programs which will tell you exactly how crazy you are, or programs which make your school photos look better.

So it's a bit of a surprise that it's taken me this long to apply my mad software skillz to fantasy football. But this year I have, writing a Groovy script to help me rank my players for the upcoming season. I figure that the outcome will either be a remarkable and decisive improvement in my draft, thus returning me to the TTFFL championship glory I so justly deserve, or a humiliating failure, leading to a last-place finish and my having to play 2014 with a team named something other than the Psychotic Ninjas.

Either way, it's time to get ready for 2013, peeps. And it is so on.

2012 Year in Review

I'm sitting here watching reruns of Malcolm in the Middle, and trying to think of something clever to write for the year-end review.  I'm also mildly annoyed that this will be my first season in 6 years of playing fantasy that I don't at least break even financially (thank goodness for Adam and his BFL confidence league, or this year would have been a total bust), but I'm pretty sure the Broncos and Seahawks will come through for me big time in my playoff league.

And thanks to the new league rules which set next year's draft order based on this year's results, I'm already planning my strategy for next year.  How could anyone think this was a bad rule?

Anyway, our team-by-team review of the year starts with:

The Team Formerly Known as the Puttheads: The Non-Puttheads' season ended in a fitting fashion, not with a bang, but with a pathetic 28-point performance agains the defending champion Orion River Horses.  The first TTFFL Toilet Bowl (yes, that's what I'm calling the week 16 battle for last place until someone comes up with a better name) lived down to expectations, as it was the lowest-scoring game all year.  Jody's 28 tied for third-lowest score all season, and Pete's "winning" score of 35 was eighth-lowest.  And although Jody managed to cram the 5th-highest regular season point total into only four wins, it's fairly easy to see how he finished last.  With QB choices of the weak-armed Andy Dalton and the injured Michael Vick, the RB trio of Alex Green, Rashard Mendenhall and Shane Vereen behind his stud Arian Foster (who put up a spectacular -2 before leaving the game with an irregular heartbeat), and the stud TE Gronkowski sitting on his bench, Jody didn't stand a chance.

Let's all enjoy making Jody a punching bag for the next year, because I expect he'll bounce back in 2013.

The Orion River Horses: Usually 35 points doesn't win you anything in this league, but the River Horses' pitiful 35 point performance in the Toilet Bowl did win something for Pete: he gets to keep his team name.  Other than that, 2012 was pretty much wall-to-wall disappointment for our defending league champion.  After week 9 standing at 4-5, he actually had a shot, but then finished the season on a 5-game losing streak.  This despite having the #6 QB in the league in RGIII, who he managed to bench at crucial points in the season.  The fact that he managed to dodge the last-place boobie prize is the lone bright spot for a defending champ who finished the regular season with the lowest point total in the league.

Note to Aaron: Jody was the league champ in 2010, and Pete in 2011.  They're keeping a spot warm for you in the cellar for next year.

Suspended Atomnation: Rounding out the 4-10 teams who justly finished at the bottom of the league is Adam and his Suspended Atomnation, proud owner of two of the three lowest game scores all season.  This year's Suspended Atomnation team proved that there is something to the notion of karma, stinking it up for the first 10 weeks (with only a week 3 win over the arguably more pathetic River Horses)  before scoring wins in 4 of his next 5 games --- averaging 87.5 points in those wins --- after belatedly paying his league dues.  In fact, owners in other leagues may want to give Adam a kick in the head for karmically ruining the fantasy seasons of LeSean McCoy, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Mikel LeShoure, Steven Jackson, Hakeem Nicks and Tony Romo through the first 11 weeks of the season.

But Adam's paid up through the start of 2014, so you should look out for Adam's Atoms next year!

Los Diablos: The lowest-seeded of an amazing 9 teams that finished the season at .500 or better, Kubicek and his Diablos pretty much learned that those who live by the stud QB die by the stud QB.  Aaron Rodgers had a good fantasy year, finishing 3rd overall in fantasy scoring for the season, but saved two of his best efforts for weeks 16 and 17, which were of no use to Los Diablos.  Particularly crushing were his 7-, 9- and 8-point totals in the final three weeks of the season, pushing Kubicek from playoff contender to top dog in the loser's bracket.

This is not to say that Rodgers' down weeks were Los Diablos' only problems.  He also came out on the wrong end of 2-point losses in high scoring games against Leviathans in week 4 and Screaming Eagles in week 7.  And then, of course, there was the ruthless 103-71 pounding Kubicek took from THE MIGHTY NINJAS in week 9!!!  Let's see, that's a last-place finish in 2011, and 9th-place in 2012.  You might make it as high as 6th next year, Kubicek!!!

Team Datanator: Was the most schizophrenic team in the league, running hot and cold in equal amounts and so quite understandably finishing 7-7.  I'm far too lazy to calculate the standard deviation in weekly scores for every team in the league (maybe some year I'll set up a calculator to do that for me --- the results could be fascinating!), but I think it's a good bet that Team Datanator had the highest one this year.  Just as likely to score 30 points as 80 in any given week, Nick's weekly point totals were as unpredictable as his drafting strategy or his starting lineup from one week to the next.  But actually, were it not for conveniently low-scoring opponents in weeks 7-9, Team Datanator would have been playing in the Toilet Bowl in week 16 instead of the River Horses.

With the fourth overall pick in the draft next year, maybe Team Datanator can make up for their biggest weakness in 2012 --- having to choose each week between Josh Freeman and Matt Cassel at quarterback.

Air Apparent: For the sixth year in a row (at least), Taylor demonstrates that scoring a lot of points isn't a requirement for winning a TTFFL title.  Taylor always scores a lot of points, and he never wins any titles.  I don't remember what Taylor might have done in the old pre-ESPN days, but somehow he always manages to be done for the year after week 14.  This year, it seems Taylor managed the feat by scoring practically all of his points in the first four weeks of the season.  It's hard to believe that a team with Matt Ryan, Stevan Ridley, C.J. Spiller, Megatron, Roddy White and Randall Cobb could finish out of the money, but Taylor does have a talent for doing a little with a lot.  Keep it up next year, big guy!

Golden Graham's: I think it's fair to say that, despite the 6th-place finish, this was Kevin's best year in the league.  He scored wins over Jody and The Evil One (though dropping the critical week 14 playoff qualifier to Merrill), he actually outscored the league in week 3, which I'm led to believe is the first time in the 123 years of the TTFFL that he's won a dime, he clawed his way to sole possession of first place after week 12 (right before he jinxed himself by bragging and dropping his final two games), and he'll get the #2 pick in the draft next year, which I believe is the highest draft pick he's ever had.

Kind of sad, really.  Kevin's season was fairly mediocre, and it's the best he's ever had.  Still, 6th place overall is pretty good for a team with Matt Schaub and Sam Bradford as its starting QBs.

The Leviathans: Levi drafted the top overall player in fantasy in 2012 (Drew Brees) and the #1 RB (Adrian Peterson), and still managed to finish 5th.  Like Kubicek, The Leviathans' season was largely dependent on their stud QB, eating critical losses in weeks 13 and 14 when Brees was less than brilliant, and was in fact downright awful.  Levi also suffered with an unreliable receiving corps (Jennings, Bowe) and unreliable supporting backfield behind AP, including the feast-and-mostly famine Jamaal Charles.

With the first overall pick next year, the only remaining question is whether Levi can get a better supporting cast for AP in 2013.  Maybe if he doesn't draft quite so many kickers.

The Psychotic Ninjas: Oh, the fantasy gods had a merry time with the Ninjas this year.  They did.  From the 0-4 oh-wait-stat-correction-I-mean 0-5 start, to their subsequent 9 game winning streak, to their absolutely hopeless pounding at the hands of Strike Team in the first round of the playoffs to the consolation game loss courtesy of the absolutely hopeless Arizona Cardinals coughing up not one but TWO defensive TDs to the Chicago Bears and, by extension, the Screaming Eagles, the Ninjas ultimately ended up in the second-crappiest position at the end of the season.  No money, but also a lousy draft pick heading into 2013.  The only silver lining is that the team will still be named the Psychotic Ninjas --- and the fact that we all know they can win no matter where they're drafting from.

But that semifinal playoff game --- damn.  I mean, Colin Kaepernick scored THREE TIMES as many points as the rest of the Ninjas starters combined.  If the rest of the Ninjas' starters had even managed to get a couple of points below their season average, they would have prevailed over Strike Team in spite of James Jones' best fantasy day ever, and then the Ninjas would have steamrolled the Marauders for their fourth league title.  But the fantasy gods made sure that never came close to happening.  I wonder what I did to upset them?

At any rate, I'm pretty sure I can play fantasy for the next 20 years and never see another 9-game winning streak.

The Screaming Eagles: The Eagles' season actually paralleled the Ninjas' fairly closely, expect that the Eagles did most of their winning early on (7-1 in their first 8 games), then enduring a 4-game losing streak before ringing up wins in weeks 13 and 14 to finish the season right behind the Ninjas.  It's appropriate that these two met in the consolation round.  While the Eagles muddled along with a fair-to-middlin' backfield (Eli, Shonn Greene, Ahmad Bradshaw), the Eagles real strength was in their receiving corps (Julio, Brandon Marshall, Demariyus Thomas).  Maybe the Eagles should declare themselves the new YAC Attack, since the name's available.

But real strength of the Eagles was in their defense --- or, more accurately, the Bears defense, which probably deserves credit for four of the Eagles' victories, including the consolation matchup with the Ninjas (Damn you, crappy Arizona Cardinals!  Damn you, Beanie Wells!).  Which just goes to prove the most basic truism of fantasy football: always draft a defense early.

Merrill's Marauders: The 2012 Marauders are an example of a team playing above their talent level (similar to the 2011 River Horses).  With only the 8th-most points in the league through 14 weeks, the Marauders were a mediocre 5-5 before putting on a burst to the finish line with a 4-game win streak to end the season, including what I'm sure was a very satisfying week 14 dismemberment of the Golden Graham's to end their playoff hopes.  As was the case with Los Diablos and the Leviathans, Merrill's season mostly hinged on the play of his QB, in this case Cam Newton, who appeared to be a bust early on, but then got it all together in the final weeks to help push Merrill almost all the way to the top.  Merrill's loss in the title game was partly due to the fact that his supporting case let him down (I think Darren McFadden is a pretty good candidate for bust of the year, no?), and partly due to the fact that Aaron's team came up big when it counted --- gee, it seems like I say that about our champion every year, doesn't it?

Which brings us to . . . .

Strike Team: Shortly before the trade deadline, I made Aaron a trade offer.  I was feeling like Tony Romo wouldn't get me the points I needed from QB, but I felt like I was loaded at RB, with Doug Martin, Fred Jackson, LeSean McCoy, Vick Ballard and about to pick Ronnie Hillman up off of waivers.  I looked at Aaron's pitiful backfield of Reggie Bush, Michael Bush and NO ONE ELSE (Willis McGahee had just gone on IR), and figured he might want to take two of my non-Martin RBs in exchange for Manning.

I later decided I didn't want to make that swap, and neither did Aaron.  I continued my winning streak and was glad to see Aaron make the playoffs, figuring he'd go nowhere with the nowhere backfield.  One less team I needed to worry about.

Oops.

Who could have predicted that Reggie Bush, averaging a bit more than 5 points per game going into the championship, would blow up for 23?  Who could have predicted that James freakin' Jones, who started the season barely ahead of the geriatric Donald Driver on the Packers' depth chart, would blow up for 21 points in the semifinal round, and 11 in the title game?  Other than Peyton, Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez, who on Aaron's roster is someone you would expect to be on a championship team?  (And Hernandez put up a goose egg in the title game).

But, hey, that's fantasy.  And don't forget, Aaron: This year for the first time, as a bonus for your victory, you'll get to choose a name an avatar for Jody's team next year.  I'm guessing Kevin might have some suggestions for you if you need ideas.

So as we close the books on the 2012 TTFFL season, we once again salute Strike Team for their title, and vow to crush them beneath our heel in the 2013 season.  As we look ahead to July, when I start bugging everyone about starting up again, here's a reminder about next season's draft order:

1. The Leviathans
2. Golden Graham's
3. Air Apparent
4. Team Datanator
5. Los Diablos
6. Suspended Atomnation
7. Orion River Horses
8. ??? - (The Team Formerly Known as the Puttheads)
9. Psychotic Ninjas
10. Screaming Eagles
11. Merrill's Marauders
12. Strike Team

Happy New Year, everyone!

Final Regular-Season Standings

Okay, everyone who saw this coming, raise your hand.

I mean, okay, I know I'm good, but 9 straight wins worth of good?  Especially after starting out 0-5?  Unbelieveable.

And another remarkable aspect of the final standings in 2012 has to do with quarterbacks.  Recall the first three picks of this year's draft:

1. Tom Brady (Psychotic Ninjas, traded to Atomnation after week 4)
2. Aaron Rodgers (Los Diablos)
3. Drew Brees (Leviathans)

NONE of the teams with those QBs made the playoffs, only the Leviathans were even in it in week 14, and recall that when Brady was playing for the Ninjas, they went 0-4.  The team with RG3 (the River Horses, soon to be the Prima Ballerinas) also finished well out of the money, ending the season on a 5-game losing streak.  Of the four playoff teams, only Strike Team (Peyton) has a QB who was truly elite for most of the season, although Cam Newton has been coming on strong for Merrill lately.  And the Ninjas and Eagles captured the top two seeds, and finished in the top three in overall points, with Tony Romo and Eli Manning, who finished 14th and 16th in QB scoring, respectively.  Finally, Air Apparent, who led the league in scoring, did it with Matt Ryan, the 9th-scoring QB.

So much for the notion that drafting a top QB early is a winning strategy.

Anyway, without further ado, here's how things stand heading into the playoffs where, for the first time ever, ALL TWELVE TEAMS will have something to play for through week 16.

1. Psychotic Ninjas (9-5, 952 points)  Woo-hoo!  THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!  Blasting into the playoffs as the #1 seed and riding a 9-game winning streak, the Ninjas defeated each of the three other playoff teams the last time they played.  Can they keep it up for 2 more weeks, or have they peaked too soon?
2. Screaming Eagles (9-5, 946 points) The Eagles would like to pretend weeks 9-12 never happened.  That's when they went on a 4-game losing streak which dropped them from dominating league-leader to near also-ran.  Can they bounce back against Merrill?
3. Merrill's Marauders (9-5, 863 points) If it weren't for the Ninjas, the Marauders would be the hottest team in the league.  They ride into the playoffs with a 4-game win streak which started week 11 against the Eagles.  With Cam Newton playing like an elite QB, they might bully their way to the title.
4. Strike Team (9-5, 831 points) Aaron also charges into the playoffs on a 4-game win streak; their last loss came to the Ninjas in week 10.  Strike Team's strength is Peyton Manning, back in Hall of Fame form; their major weakness is in their starting backfield of Reggie Bush and Montell Owens.
5. Golden Grahams (8-6, 814 points) The fantasy gods teased Kevin a bit this year, awarding him a late-week victory in week 5 over the Ninjas, the last time they lost.  And they raised his hopes of finally claiming the prize, putting him in sole possession of first place after week 12.  Consecutive losses in the season's final two weeks left him on the outside looking in, but with the consolation that a strong playoff showing might finally leave him with the first overall draft pick in 2013.
6. Air Apparent (7-7, 976 points) Yet again, Taylor finishes at or near the top in points scored, yet misses the playoffs.  At least this year, his high point total might serve him well in positioning for next year's draft.
7. The Leviathans (7-7, 932 points) Like Kevin, Levi got to the threshold of the playoffs, sitting at 7-5 after 12 weeks with his fate in his own hands.  But like Kevin, a season-ending 2-game losing streak left the Leviathans in the upper consolation bracket.
8. Team Datanator (7-7, 873 points) Four of Nick's losses this season came by a combined total of 8 points.  It's kind of scary to think how different the final standing might be if Nick paid more attention to his lineup.
9. Los Diablos (7-7, 870 points) What's surprising about Los Diablos' season isn't the 7-7 finish.  After all, wins and losses are fairly unpredictable.  The really surprising thing is that with Aaron Rodgers at QB, Los Diablos only managed to finish 7th in points scored.  The real killer for Los Diablos' season was the 3-game skid in weeks 11-13, during which Los Diablos only managed to average a bit more than 41 points a week.  My primary goal the next two weeks is to win the title; my secondary goal is to see Kubicek drop his final two games, so I get to name his team next year.
10. Newnan Puttheads (4-10, 931 points) Like Taylor, Jody has an amazing ability to score lots of points while losing lots of games.  Other than winning the title in 2010, Jody generally has totally crappy luck.  On the plus side, with him in the bottom loser's bracket, it's more likely Kubicek will take the bottom slot.
11. Suspended Atomnation (4-10, 813 points) Karma!  In weeks 1-10, Adam only managed a single victory, and that was a pitiful 47-46 victory over the pitiful Orion River Horses.  I forget when Adam finally paid his dues (and kicked an extra $15 into the title pot), but I DO know that he finished the season strong, wining 3 of his final 4.  Feeling nervous yet, Kubicek?
12. Orion River Horses (4-10, 811 points) Yikes!  What happened to our defending champ?  I'm sure I don't know --- part of it has to do with his acknowledged knack for keeping his best performers on his bench --- but Pete finished the regular season in style, losing his final five.  Let's hope he can put it all together just once in week 15, to get Kubicek into the Toilet Bowl

In closing, gentlemen, I'd like to leave you with this one thought heading into the playoff weeks:

WOO-HOO!!! NINJAS RULE!!!  WINNERS OF 9 STRAIGHT, AND ON TO THE TITLE, BABY!!! THAT'S RIGHT, SUCKERS, READ 'EM AND WEEP!!!

First

As in, this is the first time that no one has clinched a playoff spot 13 weeks into the season.  It's also the first time there's been a FIVE-WAY tie for first place after 13 weeks, and the first time there's been this many teams with 8 or more wins (and we'll probably pick up one or two more during this week's games).

And yes, I'm going to point out that if the playoffs started today THE MIGHTY NINJAS would be the #1 seed.  And I'm pretty sure this is the first time a team has run off an 8-game winning streak after starting 0-5.  And if I can run this streak up to eleven (how hard can it be?), it will be the first time a team claimed the title after starting 0-5.

All of this, of course, with the caveat that I'm not a league historian, so I could be wrong about some of this.  But isn't it amazing that I was down 74-16 to Jody at 7:00 PM Sunday, and then Romo, Bryce Brown, Garcon and Tynes put together 64 points, which means they would have beaten Kevin, Levi, Merrill, Kubicek, Aaron, Adam and Pete all by themselves?

Anyway, there's still a logjam at the top, but fortunately with only one game left in the season, it's pretty easy to paint the playoff picture.  There are five 8-5 teams, and since Merrill and Kevin play each other this week, only four of us can finish 9-5.  Therefore, for all of the 8-5 teams, a win gets you in, with seeding to be determined by point totals.

Things really only get interesting when considering the 7-6 teams, all of which need a win and help to clinch a playoff spot.  They break down as follows:

Air Apparent still holds the lead in points scored by a substantial margin, which means that Taylor will almost certainly claim a playoff spot with a win if any of the Ninjas, Eagles or Strike Team loses --- and odds are that at least one of them will.

Leviathans play the Ninjas this week, and only trail the Ninjas by 7 in the point totals.  So the Leviathans will clinch a playoff spot if they beat the Ninjas by 8 or more points AND Air Apparent loses.  They can also clinch a spot if they beat the Ninjas by a smaller margin, or if Air Apparent wins their game, but that involves various permutations of losses by the Eagles or Strike Team.

Team Datanator scored a historic first weekly win this week, but they still trail in points badly enough that they will only get into the playoffs with a win and losses by Strike Team, Air Apparent AND Leviathans.

As for the four teams out of playoff contention, Jody, Pete and Adam have all clinched a spot in the end-of-season tournament to avoid last place.  Kubicek needs to beat Nick by 6 or more points to avoid taking the final position in that playoff bracket.

For all of this, I don't remember what the tiebreaking rules are if Levi beats Ninjas by exactly 7 points, or Kubicek beats Nick by exactly 5, so I'll resolve that if/when it happens.

Go Ninjas!!!

P.S.  Of course, there are a couple of other 'firsts' to mention.  This is the first time we're going to determine final season standings by using multiple playoff brackets, as well as the first time the final standings for this year affect what happens next year (draft order, loser 'prize').  After I first posted this, I realized that Nick is in a unique position, because with a win and a lot of help, he could end up in the playoff bracket and ultimately take the league title, while a loss by more than 5 points will drop him into the loser bracket and thus he could ultimately finish the season dead last.  Makes this weekend's games more interesting for him than for anyone else, potentially.