The Rich Get Richer

It has been a frustrating year for most of the teams in the TTFFL. Weekly Wins (which, for those who are unaware, carry a $15 sweepstakes) have been collected by only five teams. Just three teams have hogged seven out of nine of them.

Meanwhile, in a rare example of justice in our league, the teams scoring the most points are actually winning the most games. Of the six teams with the most points, only one would miss the six-team playoff field if the season ended today. (Sorry, Diablos.)

A reminder to all, especially new entrants: Thanks to the Kubicek Rule, playoff-seeding ties in our league are broken by a very complex head-to-head formulation instead of the much more rational points-scored system used everywhere else. So injustice might prevail, after all.

Atomnation (7-2, 2 weekly wins) is still smarting from that 0-4 start last year and, for that matter, their four game losing streak to end the regular season. These guys are on a revenge tour. Atom has scored at least 110 points in seven-out-of-nine weeks. For context, three teams -- including the defending champion Marauders -- have yet to reach that mark a single time. Atom has led the league in scoring twice,* finished second four times and third twice. That accounts for eight of the season's nine weeks, thus far. In Week 9, Atom entered Monday night with a shot at a third weekly title, but ended up falling a little short. Their owner's reaction showed just how much nicer things are in the Nation of Atom this year. “Saal good," he said.

Leviathans (7-2, 1 weekly), for reasons not always discernible, have an uncanny way of finding their way to the top of the standings. Maybe it's because the Leviathans do not listen to the wisdom that you should refrain from choosing a quarterback early in the draft. Instead, they just take Josh Allen.

The Motor City Kitties' (7-2) owner was ecstatic to escape the shackles of an assistant GM job at another franchise to go run his own show. First and second round draft picks Austin Ekeler and Travis Kelce are making him look pretty smart. 

Golden Graham’s (5-4, 2 weeklies) are one of the few teams remaining in the TTFFL with an all-time winning record in the wake of the departures of the Ninjas and both Air Mexes. Of course, that does not mean the Grahams have ever gotten anywhere near a championship. This year, they’re once again looking to kick the sonofabitch in. (I do recommend that 25 second link if you haven't clicked it when I've sent it out before.) Listen to some of these point totals: 110, 128, 130, 118, 131. Heck, in Week Five, Grahams tallied 130 points with tight end Taysom Hill’s 36 points sitting on their bench. Who would have even thought to draft Taysom Hill in the first place?

Detroit Kneebiters (5-4, 3 weeklies!) said on draft night that they had their best team ever. That would be saying a lot, given their near flawless 14-2 title run back in 2010. Not that there have been a lot of "bests" in Har-Putt-Knee land since then. But they are making a lot of noise this year, with a stupendous three weekly wins in nine weeks. 

Lights Out (5-4) followed up a rocky (that is, last place) debut in 2021 with a 1-4 start in 2022. Then a light bulb apparently went on, propelling them to a four-game winning streak that would have them in the playoffs if the season ended today. That light bulb was likely a newly discovered ability to keep the other guys from scoring any points. Lights Out's opponents have averaged a paltry 63 points a week during their winning streak. But Lights Out is also scoring, such as with a recent 50-point week from a single running back. 

Air Apparent (4-5) might be the worst team in playoff contention. The team’s second, third, fourth and fifth round draft picks are all certified busts. Only the NFL’s lax player-conduct policy (on everything but marijuana use) allowed their first rounder to escape suspension after he body slammed a photographer for committing the offense of walking in front of him. But after years of late-season heartbreak, championship-less Air Apparent is hoping the script is flipped this year. 

Orion River Horses (4-5) have had their moments, but are currently suffering from a three-game losing streak. This writer would have preferred if the Horses had chosen a time other than Week 7 to ask Gabriel Davis to ring up 171 yards and two touchdowns on just three catches.

Merrill’s Marauders (4-5) have shown over the years that they have difficulty handling success. We all remember the Marauders’ meltdown in 2020 after winning the championship the year before. After pulling it together to win another title in 2021, the Marauders once again find themselves near the bottom of the league in points scored. 

Los Diablos (3-6, 1 weekly) put their chips down on a freight train and a chef. The first one started slowly (as freight trains do) but has since accumulated tremendous momentum (as freight trains do). The second one is now cooking for someone else. Diablos would be on the cusp of the playoffs if not for suffering one of the more brutal losses in recent memory. They entered Monday Night Football in Week 8 needing only two points from their kicker (in other words, just a single field goal or two extra points). Well, the kicker got only one field goal attempt, which he missed. Fortunately, he got two extra point attempts. But he missed one of them, too, leaving the Diablos 0.36 points short. Still, the Diablos demonstrated their character by taking down a Weekly Win the following week.

B. Cain (2-7) took the league by storm in their franchise’s first game. Since then, it’s been a rocky road, as they’ve dropped seven out of eight, addled by the demise of Aaron Rodgers and injuries to Michael Thomas and Jonathan Taylor. This team has considerable depth, though. They could be spoilers or even get back into playoff contention if some of those injured players return. 

Eagles Super Bowl Champs (1-8) will not likely be TTFFL Champs in their inaugural year. Aided by the return of Dak Prescott and DeAndre Hopkins, the Eagles did capture their first ever win in Week 8. Their owner was evidently so pleased with his team that he rewarded his quarterback, tight end, flex position and kicker with off-weeks for Week 9. It would have been better if he had chosen a different week to dole out vacations because Justin Fields and Darnell Mooney ended up combining for 59 points while resting comfortably on the Eagles' bench. Despite their record, the Eagles actually have one of the more formidable lineups in the league and have the potential to end the season on a high note as they prepare for next year.

 * A previous note said that Atom had three weekly wins. It turns out that 128 is greater than 127, so they do not. They have two. We regret the error.

The Marauders Marauded

It was a cold winter in the Marauders' paddock in 2021.

After restoring their glory with a 2019 championship run that featured one of the deepest and highest-scoring teams in TTFFL history, the Marauders collapsed in 2020 to 5-8. To be fair, that 2020 season was actually much worse than the record indicated, given that the Marauders finished absolutely dead last in points scored.

Performances like that do not sit well with the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately fans in Marauderville. But the Marauders are a proud franchise, and they were determined to prove that the 2020 debacle was nothing but a hangover. The day after the 2020 season came to its merciful conclusion, the Marauders replaced nearly their entire personnel staff. Asked by a local sports talk host why the team was spending seven days a week in January preparing for the following September’s draft, the Marauders’ owner responded, “Because we can’t work eight days a week.”

The draft prep was guided by a back-to-basics philosophy that resulted in the eventual selection of Russell Wilson, the Marauders’ 2019 signal caller, in the sixth round of the 2021 draft. But it was more than just back to basics. The Marauders stepped away from their usual bias for semi-washed up brand names -- think Todd Gurley and Odell Beckham Jr. -- to search for hidden gems. Through tens of millions of simulations on their newly purchased neural network, the Marauders zeroed in on the injury-prone Deebo Samuel, whom they ended up stealing in the eighth round. After the draft, the Marauders used trades and waiver acquisitions to achieve much of the double- and triple-layered depth that characterized their 2019 team.

There were rumors about a third of the way through the season that the trade-happy Marauders were seeking to deal Samuel for Tyler Lockett, Wilson’s electric but inconsistent wide receiver. But those rumors never turned into reality, which proved fortunate because "Dee-Bull" became the very top scoring receiver (and side-order running back) the rest of the way. The Marauders somehow also ended up with Davonte Adams on their roster at some point along the way.

Sunday, it all paid off, as the Marauders defeated ~AirMex, 125-91, to capture their second title in three years, a stunning resurgence after a nearly two-decade drought that dated all the way back to the Marshall Faulk era. 

It will take time to determine this Marauders team's place in history. Unlike the 2019 edition, which was among the highest scoring teams of all time, this year's Marauders did not lead the league in points, and did not even capture a single Weekly scoring crown during the regular season. 

But this was one of the most consistent teams ever, which was especially notable because this season was almost completely lacking in continuity. 

Only once did the Marauders fail to score at least 80 points in a week (a feat that was matched by just one other team). The Marauders finished the season 13-3. Aside from losses to AirMex and Air Apparent -- which were first and second in points scored -- the Marauders' only loss came in Week 4 at the hands (or teeth?) of the Detroit KneeBiters, who used a late Austin Ekeler touchdown to nip them, 131-128. The Marauders’ 128 points in that losing effort were the second-highest in the league that week and, coincidentally, the most that the Marauders scored all season.

 

This is not to say that the Marauders did not face adversity. Their first-round draft pick, superstar Alvin Kamara, was injured on and off throughout the season and his performance was hindered by the New Orleans Saints diseased offense. Wilson, meanwhile, spent much of the season looking like Jared Goff on a bad day (as the chief Marauder, himself, noted during the season). But the Marauders skillfully patched those holes with unappetizing alternatives, biding their time for Kamara to heal and Russ to put his chef's hat back on –  which he did, for the playoffs. 

The Marauders saved their best for last, spooling up nearly 120 points in the regular season finale to clinch a first-round bye in the playoffs and then 125 points in both of their playoff contests. The Marauders chose their first playoff game to notch their first Weekly honors. 

The Marauders' late season dominance obscured the near perfect season enjoyed by AirMex in GP’s return to the helm of the team he founded. Mex cruised to an 11-3 regular season mark, never falling out of first place. Despite the disappointing championship game loss, Mex will be able to take solace in winning the prestigious but unofficial regular season points title, which they claimed in the season's final week by overtaking Air Apparent.  

Mex, like the Marauders, was a portrait of consistency, scoring at least 75 points every week, a distinction that not even the Marauders can claim. They had the wisdom -- perhaps aided by an auto-selection necessitated by a power outage -- to draft Matthew Stafford. Another choice, Mark Andrews, sprung to life in the second half of the season to lead all tight ends in points. Even old stand-bys like Ezekiel Elliott, the subject of much kvetching, gave them enough each week to win and win and win. Mex also led the league in transactions, including the acquisition of Justin Jackson, who carried them into the championship game. In the process, Mex crushed the dreams of Air Apparent, becoming perhaps the first team in league history to defeat another team three times in the same season.

  

Air Apparent (third place) was close or "close to close" again, returning to the playoffs and narrowly missing the overall points crown. Its management bypassed the more highly touted Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook and Alvin Kamara to take Derek Henry with the second overall draft pick. The choice was designed for the playoffs, given the others' injury histories and Henry's penchant for gaining momentum when the leaves fall off trees. Things were progressing ahead of schedule as Henry steamrolled everything in his path for the first half of the season. But the party ended prematurely when the locomotive chipped a wheel in Week 8. 

The defending champion Leviathans (fourth place) defied all sorts of odds this year. They became only the second team in the ESPN era to make the playoffs in the year after winning a title. The Leviathans somehow managed to sail to a 9-5 record despite scoring the third-fewest points, largely because their opponents also scored the third-fewest points. (That still does not really explain 9-5, come to think of it.) But the Leviathans scored when they needed to and were aided by timely explosions from quarterback Josh Allen, whom they wisely drafted in the third round.

The Leviathans made among the fewest transactions, but they chose well. They picked up the previously moribund Russell Gage, who both turned into a consistent producer and delivered a very timely 15 points in the first round of the playoffs, giving the Leviathans just enough to win the Trumbore Bowl and advance to the semifinals.

Like the Leviathans, the Screaming Eagles (fifth place) mastered the art of doing more with less. Despite finishing last overall in points, they stood on the doorstep of the playoffs until fading in the season's final weeks. The Eagles awoke from their slumber with three straight wins in the consolation tier of the playoffs, including a Weekly Win, to secure the first overall pick in next year's draft. What the Eagles lacked in superstars, they made up for in consistency, as a high percentage of their draft picks worked out, more or less. Second-rounder Tyreek Hill ended up having a good year by most receivers' standards, but only so-so for him. If he had been the Hill of old, the Eagles might have returned to the championship game.

Always explosive Atomnation (sixth place) suffered a dreadful start to the season due to the misfortune of their opponents scoring an ungodly number of points. Atom decided to snap their losing streak once and for all in week 5 by ringing up 163 points, which still stands as the single-game record under the new scoring system. Atom had their moments as the year progressed, periodically knocking on the playoff door but never quite kicking the SOB down. Atom had 65 more points scored against them than the team giving up the second most, and 125 more than the team giving up the third most. That is a lot. They won their first two postseason games, giving themselves a morale booster and a high draft pick to look forward to in 22.

The Diablos (seventh place*) had perhaps the most spirited season of any team. Helmed by both Paul and Jonah Kubicek, they were staring at an almost fatal 1-4 start before Jonathan Taylor rescued them with a flurry of touchdowns to give them a 0.14 point win over the Golden Grahams in a game now known in Diablos-lore as the Monday Night Miracle. The Diablos used that escape as a springboard to propel them to an 8-6 record and a playoff berth. Taylor and the Diablos' selection of Ja'Marr Chase, who was widely viewed as a disaster in the preseason, looked poised to carry the Diablos to an improbable championship before Chase unexpectedly fell asleep during the first round of the playoffs. Not to be deterred, the Diablos rebounded with by scoring 110 points in the consolation-tier second round and 130 points in the third round, winning Weekly honors.  *But for the fact that the league office sent the wrong opponent to play the Diablos in the second round of the playoffs, the Diablos would have won the consolation tier and, with it, the first overall selection next year. As with questions surrounding the remaining four years of dead salary on Urban Meyer's contract, one can be sure that lawyers will be involved in working this one out.

The Horses of the Orion River (eighth place), like the Diablos, bounced off the deck to put themselves in the thick of things. The Horses strung together a five-game winning streak at the end of the season to put themselves in the playoffs. It was the season's longest winning streak (since tied by the champion Marauders). The Horses' methods were unconventional. They selected Patrick Mahomes with the first overall pick, which few pundits would have recommended. Then they went with a Detroit Lion and a Cincinnati Bengal as their running backs. Those are never safe things to do. But Deandre Swift and Joe Mixon worked out, and Mahomes saved his best for the first week of the playoffs. If he'd only thrown a few of his passes to receivers besides Travis Kelce that week, the Horses would have won the Trumbore Bowl and advanced in the playoffs.

The Golden Grahams (ninth place) were the fan favorites of IBM Watson, which relentlessly predicted that the Grahams would finish near the top of the standings even as the Grahams lost week after week ... after week. Such a top-tier finish did not occur, but maybe Watson knew something, after all. The Grahams finished fourth overall in points scored. The Grahams had a solid core, anchored by quarterback Bobby Justin Herbert. They also had tough luck. Their first-round choice, Dalvin Cook, was periodically on the shelf throughout the season and their gamble on Darren Waller did not pay off. But the Grahams made up for that by picking up the reborn Cordarrelle Patterson and by choosing rooking running back Michael Carter, a New Yok Jet, for God's sake. (Is there something about the Grahams and New York Jets, or does it just seem that way?) At one point, the Grahams were looking at a last place finish, but they saved face with a two-game winning streak, including a satisfying finale in the Graham Bowl against ...  

... The Detroit KneeBiters (formerly Harbaughs) (tenth place) who, well, fell on hard times. The KneeBiters started off 3-1, which was promising enough. But then they lost nine of their next 10. What happened to these cats? Besides naming themselves after a Detroit Lions coach, it is unclear. The Knees drafted Austin Ekeler (great), Jalen Hurts (surprisingly great), Mike Evans (fine) and AJ Green (good). Yes, most of their draft ended up on a scrap heap, but the same can be said for most teams. The best explanation seems to be that they expended too much energy defeating the Marauders in week four and then suffered a crushing defeat (115-108) to AirMex the next week. What would have been a 4-1 start turned to 3-2, and maybe the KneeBiters had just had enough. 

Strike Team (11th place) had the most unheralded season of all. They started out 0-6, partly due to losing a couple of heartbreakers, including a 117.9 to 117.4 crusher. Meanwhile, literally the majority of their starters, including top draft pick Christian McCaffrey, were injured in the first few games of the season. But Strike quietly kept at it, going 5-3 the rest of the way and winning Weekly honors in both of the regular season's last two games, including a 145-95 walloping of Air Apparent that was aided by the acquisition of Rashad Penny. Strike lost their mojo in the first couple rounds of the postseason, but recovered to make a bid for a third Weekly title in the final round, tallying 125 points to beat ...  

... Laces Out (12th place), who just had the misfortune of having all the best laid plans go wrong. Laces put together one of the most highly regarded drafts and continued to supplement its team through roster moves, of which they had the second-most in the league. But their superstar-studded roster, featuring Kyler Murray, Aaron Jones, Saquon Barkley and Brandon Cooks, just did not deliver in line with past performance, aside from Cooks. Keep an eye on Laces Out to rebound in 2022.

 

Inside the Numbers

The four teams finishing at the top of the standings have now accounted for the last five championships, Leviathans and Marauders two each; AirMex (under different management) one; Air Apparent zero.

AirMex has made the playoffs the last eight years, which is all eight years they have been in the league during the ESPN era. The streak bridges the gap from GP’s return to the league in 2014, his departure, and his second return in 2021. 

The three top finishers in the regular season standings -- AirMex, Marauders and Leviathans -- had the three lowest numbers of points against. The fourth-place finisher, Air Apparent, had the third-most points against.

Weekly high-points honors were distributed almost as equally as mathametically possible, with 11 teams winning at least one week and no team winning more than twice.

 

Week 7 TTFFL Wrap

Strike Team on the Board

The injury-decimated Strike Team got a huge boost from Elijah Mitchell Sunday night to take a 4.4 point lead over the KneeBaughs in their quest for their first win. But the Knees had Seattle’s defense going Monday night against Jameis Winston, who recently set a modern-era record for interceptions. Through three quarters, the Seahawks recovered a fumble and posted two sacks, bringing the Knees to within 0.4 points. But the Seahawks caused no further damage, allowing Strike Team to capture their first win.

Los Diablos on the Rise

Los Diablos were all but resigned to starting their season 1-4 before staging their “Monday Night Miracle” comeback in Week 5 to edge the Golden Grahams by 0.14 points. Since then, they have strung together two more impressive wins, the most recent being a 119-71 thumping of the Orion River Horses. Improbably, the Diablos now sit at 4-3 and are squarely in the playoff picture. The defeat put the Horses a game behind in the playoff race and down a tiebreaker against a possible rival for the final playoff spot.

Atom Gets No Bounces

Suspended Atomnation entered last week’s action on a two-game winning streak, causing sports talk radio hosts in Atomnation to begin their annual rite of mapping out potential routes to the playoffs. With a chance to pull within a game of .500, Atom took a “future is now” approach, spending $41 to claim D'Ernest Johnson from waivers. Johnson paid back the investment with a 23-point performance, helping Atom to build a 32-point lead over the high-flying Marauders. But Deebo Samuel and Alvin Kamara proved too much, leading the Marauders to a 124-118 comeback victory. Atom has now given up the most points in the league, 50 more than any other team.

Leviathans Run Out of Luck

Prior to last week, the Leviathans had already achieved two victories while scoring fewer than 100 points. In Week 7, they decided to really test the limits of small ball, posting just 66 points against the Screaming Eagles in a rematch of last year’s championship game. Miraculously, Leviathans maintained a small lead entering Monday night’s action, but they eventually succumbed by 12 points. The Leviathans, now 5-2, have allowed the fewest points in the league, nearly 170 points less than Atomnation, which has allowed the most. Leviathan head coach Levi Trumbore was characteristically cryptic after the defeat. “GOoDell still smiles upon His faithful children,” he said. The Screaming Eagles, which benefited from the Leviathans’ paltry output, gained a foothold in the playoff race with the win.

Mex Cruises Again

~ AirMex ~ now sits all alone in first place at 6-1 after dispatching Laces Out, 99-79. Laces leads the league in trades and acquisitions this year but have not seen their activity translate into victories. They likely need to hope that their talented core of Saquon Barkley, Allen Robinson and Odell Beckham Jr. return to their old selves ... soon.

Graham’s ‘B Team’ Gives It a College Try

Despite having two thirds of their starters on bye, the Golden Graham’s put up an impressive 97 points in Week 7. But that was not enough to beat Air Apparent, which had nearly its full roster available. The Graham’s remain the darlings of the analytics community. Despite their 10th place 2-5 record, IBM Watson’s Final Standing Projections call for Graham’s to finish 5th, which would likely entail the Graham’s making the playoffs.

 

Break Up the Graham's

For several years, the average score in our league was almost exactly 63 points. Now, five weeks into our new scoring system, it looks like the new benchmark is 100. So far this year, exactly half of team point totals have been above 100 and exactly half below 100, meaning that if you score over 100 points, you should win more than half the time.

With that in mind, I looked back at the first part of the season to see how everyone is doing versus what they deserve (using the 100 line). I also looked at how our drafts are working out. When you revisit our teams’ entire drafts, it’s surprising how awful they look. What begins with so much promise looks so dismal five weeks out. Most of us, Air Apparent included, could put two-thirds of our draftees on waivers, if we haven't already, and hardly notice the difference. But a few teams did make some very good selections in the sixth round and beyond that are worth noting.

The Marauders. Are 4-1. Should be 4-1.

Marauders were champions in 2019 and maybe celebrated a little too much. They fell to 5-8 last year and were at the bottom of the heap in points scored. Dead last. Just by watching the waiver wire activity, you can definitely see that there is a renewed sense of purpose in the Marauders’ front office. The Marauders were a week ahead on smash performances by Kadarius Toney and Dawson Knox, and, clearly looking toward the playoffs, just picked up Jerry Jeudy even though he's going to remain on the shelf indefinitely. The Marauders will have to weather several weeks without their old security blanket, Russell Wilson, who guided them to their 2019 title. In Wilson’s absence, the Marauders will retain the benefit of one of the best bargains from the draft. They snagged Deebo Samuel halfway through the eighth round. Samuel is now the fifth-highest scoring wide receiver. Marauders’ first and second-round choices, Alvin Kamara and Stefon Diggs, have been middling to disappointing so far, meaning that this team could have an explosive rest of the season if those two get going.

~ AirMex ~. Is 4-1. Should be 2-3.

As I said at the beginning of the year, ~ AirMex ~ is like the Raiders of old. There is always turmoil, but they just win (baby). Even on Monday night, just as the actual Raiders were firing their coach over his e-mails, Mark Andrews brought Mex back from the dead with an out-of-the-blue 30.7 point performance. Mex’s draft does not look mind blowing in retrospect, but its grade might be about to rise. This week, as the fantasy football pundits advised people to blow their entire free agent budgets to acquire Darrel Williams following the Clyde Edwards-Helaire injury, owners in our league saw no such option. Williams has been biding his time on Mex’s bench ever since Mex took him in the 17th round of our draft.

Detroit KneeBiters, formerly Harbaughs. Are 3-2. Should be 3-2.

The KneeBaughs were on the brink of their second huge comeback in a row when Austin Ekeler put them on his back in the second half on Sunday. But that was before Andrews’ performed his Monday Night magic for Mex, sending the Knees to 3-2. The Knees, unlike Mex, did not draft Darrel Williams, leaving them with almost no able-bodied running backs after CEH went down. No matter, KneeBaugh owner George Steinbrenner spent 25 percent of his free agent budget to acquire Devontae Booker. That was just one week after Steinbrenner unloaded 50 percent of that budget to make Josh Gordon a KneeBaugh. With that sort of reliance on free agency, it’s understandable if the KneeBaughs did not worry too much about the draft, but …  well, there really isn’t too much a “but.” The Baughs struck gold with Ekeler at 8th overall and A.J. Green is looking like a steal at 161. But the landscape in between is pretty barren, save maybe for Jalen Hurts and his ability to squeeze fantasy points out of hideous performances. Still, the Knees are winning. And they were high for the week in Week 4, relying on Ekeler to hand Marauders their only loss. (The Marauders were second highest in points that week, meaning they would still be undefeated if they’d played anyone else.)

The Leviathans. Are 4-1. Should be 2-3.

The Leviathans, our defending champions, are kind of a like Air Mex minus the turmoil. Every couple of years, they are right in the thick of the championship chase. In fact, they have won the championship two of the last four years. Right now, they are one of only two teams to have two running backs in the top 12 in points scored, helped out by sixth-round draft pick Kareem Hunt, who is sixth overall in RB points, and Najae Harris, who is, so far, very durable. Travis Kelce is a points dispenser. And Josh Allen runs up points very very quickly, especially against my Air Apparents.

Screaming Eagles. Are 3-2. Should be 3-2.

The Eagles, last year’s runners up, have steadily posted 100+ weeks with the help of a draft that looks spectacularly solid. Each of the Eagles’ top seven draft picks is chugging along. No other team has avoided busts so well. Meanwhile, the Eagles’ players have delivered occasional explosions, like when Tyreek Hill posted a 37-point week. James Robinson and Antonio Gibson have evoked many grumbles from fantasy owners, but they are both in the top 12 among running backs in fantasy points scored. Even Leonard Fournette is barely outside the top 20. And with Thielen and Claypool and Dak, that’s not bad.

Air Apparent. Are 3-2. Should be 3-2.

Your commissioner’s team feels very fortunate to be 3-2. Almost every week has looked like a certain defeat at one point or another. Since Laces Out sniped my preferred players, I’m left with replacement level quarterbacks and tight ends, left to hope that the locomotive (Derek Henry) gets rolling and that Cooper Kupp does whatever he somehow does.

Los Diablos. Are 2-3. Should be 2-3.

Diablos woke up Monday morning staring at a gloomy 1-4 record only to be rescued that night by a 28.9 point outburst by Jonathan Taylor to eeeeeeeek out a 125.36 to 125.22 win over the Golden Graham’s. That’s a 0.14 point margin. For reference, our league now awards 0.1 point per yard rushing and receiving, meaning that an extra two yards would have done it for the Graham’s. (The Graham’s also could have made up the difference if they didn’t leave Mike Williams’ 28.5 points on their bench.) Coming off such an exhilarating escape, the Diablos could be dangerous. The Diablos will look for bouncebacks from second- and fourth-round draft picks DeAndre Hopkins and Robert Woods, who have been disappointing, and a recovery by David Montgomery, who is injured. But the Diablos have papered over some of those underwhelming selections by picking Ja’Marr Chase halfway through the sixth round. Chase is sixth overall in points by a receiver.

Golden Graham’s. Are 2-3. Should be 2-3.

The Golden Graham’s are an interesting case. They’ve had tough luck, temporarily losing their first-round draft pick Dalvin Cook to injury (though it's not as bad as last year, when the Graham’s first rounder was almost immediately lost for the season). Most of the Graham’s draft choices look ho-hum except for Justin Herbert, who is a threat to score 50 points at any moment, and the man on the receiving end of all those points, Mike Williams, who is 1st in fantasy points among all receivers. Graham’s chose Williams at the end of the eighth round, which has to make him the best sleeper pick in the draft. You also have to give Graham’s credit for scooping punt returner Cordarrelle Patterson off of waivers way back in Week 3. Patterson is now 5th in running back points. One other thing about the Graham’s: IBM Watson loves them. Even though they are in 8th place, Watson gives them the fourth best chance to make the playoffs. And in the “Final Standings Projections” (brought to you by Snickers) on our league’s home page, Graham’s are predicted to finish second,* which means favored to reach the championship game. Once again, they are currently in 8th place. Graham’s were scoring champs in Week 3.

Laces Out. Are 2-3. Should be 2-3.

Laces Out’s reputation preceded them into the league, and they put together what appeared to me to be one of the best drafts. As I look at it now, it still looks like one of the best drafts. You’ve got Aaron Jones, Saquon Barkley, Amari Cooper and Kyler Murray in the first five rounds. They’ve all been good to great, except for Barkley getting injured. And Noah Fant has been good, as have Brandin Cooks and Tyler Higbee. Laces also has been surgical on the waiver wire, picking up Dalton Schultz and Derek Carr, who many teams would covet. So, I’m somewhat unclear how they are 2-3.

Orion River Horses. Are 2-3. Should be 3-2.

The Horses snubbed the fantasy football lords by saying “no thank you” to Christian McCaffrey with the first overall draft pick, which looks smarter and smarter each week that CMC is out. Their alternative, Patrick Mahomes, is second in QB fantasy points. The other highlight of the Horses’ draft was taking D.J. Moore in the fourth round. I don’t not see too much else to love about their draft, but somehow, the OHR are second overall in points scored. The Horses won weekly honors in Week 1, and their 109 points last week would have been enough to raise them to 3-2 – except that Atom scored 163.

Suspended Atomnation. Is 1-4. Should be 2-3 (sort of).

Atom might be the second least lucky team so far this year, in victory as well as in defeat. The Atoms went into Monday night needing serviceable performances from Lamar Jackson and/or Marquise Brown to record their first win. Brown put up 25 points, which was more than enough to get the job done. Meanwhile, Jackson rang up nearly 50. Atom needed exactly zero of those 50 to win. What this leads to is that the Atoms now hold the all-time record for single-game points under our new system (thus easily capturing the Week 5 sweepstakes) and are leading our league in overall points by a nice margin – and they're in 11th place. Atoms tend to bounce back, however. Back in 2018, hungover from a championship, Atom started out 1-7, but finished 7-9 if you count the playoffs.

Strike Team. Is 0-5. Should be 2-3.

Fortune has not been on the Strike Team’s side, even when it looked like it was. They lucked into Christian McCaffrey with the third pick of the draft, which looked positively great for two weeks. Then CMC got injured. The next week, Strike’s third-round pick, George Kittle, also got injured. Strike’s sixth rounder was Jerry Jeudy. He got injured in the season opener, and is now recuperating on the Marauders’ bench. And Strike’s ninth-rounder Michael Gallup ... yep, he also got injured in Week 1. On the bright side, Strike drafted Elijah Mitchell, the unknown rookie who sprang off the bench to rush for 100 yards and capture the 49ers running back job. Nobody drafted Elijah Mitchell. But, then, Mitchell got, well, injured. Strike also had the foresight to choose Rob Gronkowski in the 12th round, and the resurgent Gronk immediately rocketed to the top of the TE charts. But then Gronk, unfortunately, punctured his lung.** With the help of 78 year-old Tom Brady, the points leader among QBs, Strike has hung around, coming within five points of winning three times. Strike’s most heartbreaking defeat came in Week 2, when Mason Crosby delivered nothing but extra points during a Monday night blowout, causing Strike to fall 117.9 to 117.4.

* Following Thursday night’s game, Watson lowered Graham’s expected finish from second to third. But still …

** Making light of Strike's plight, not Gronk's condition. We hope that his injury is not truly serious.

YEC Has Left the Building

The year was 2007.  I had never played fantasy football before, and in fact, hadn't paid attention to the NFL for more than a decade.  But apparently TTFFL needed a couple of suckers to fill spots because (among other things), the previous years' commissioner had disappeared with all of the money.

Kubicek invited me to join this league, and I believe my response was something along the lines of "Sure, I'll make a contribution to your fantasy league", reasonably assuming that I would get my ass handed to me.

And I did, kind of.  That was back in the day when we only had 4 playoff teams and thus played a 14-game regular season.  Through a lot of wheeling and dealing, and lots and LOTS of luck, I actually made the playoffs as the 4 seed (with a 7-6-1 record), and then defeated Pete and his River Horses (the other new team that year) for my first TTFFL title.  It turns out the part about me having my ass handed to me wouldn't happen until, well, now.

Anyway, I LOVED playing fantasy, and I couldn't wait 8 months for the next NFL season to start.  So I joined a sort of fantasy NBA league on ESPN that year, and I learned a valuable lesson: playing fantasy is no fun if you're not interested in the sport behind it.

Anyway, the 2008 season eventually arrived, and with it, Taylor's strong desire to stop being commissioner.  So I took over the job for the next 13 years.  In that time, I've probably played a total of 40 fantasy NFL seasons or more.

But it's not fun any more, and it hasn't been for some time.  For at least the past 4 years, I've been pondering whether I should continue playing, and this year convinced me that I should be done.  I've barely paid attention to the NFL this year --- I've probably watched a total of fewer than 4 games.  And as I learned in 2007, playing fantasy is no fun if you're not interested in the sport behind it (Did you know that the Patriots are 7-9 and missed the playoffs this year?  And that Stephon Diggs plays for the Bills now?  And also, that he spells his name 'Stefon'?  Crazy stuff).

So --- y'all need to find yourselves a new owner and a new commissioner.  In contrast to years past, I plan to pay off everyone in full, so the new commissioner can start with a clean slate.  Once you've chosen someone, I have some info which might be useful to that person in creating a schedule.  I can also remain active on the league site with commissioner privileges, to serve as a backup for technical stuff if the new commish would like me to do so (as long as you continue playing on ESPN.  If you move to a new site, you're on your own).

I can also put up a poll on the current site if you want to hold an election for your new commissioner.

(Speaking of creating a schedule, raise your hand if you noticed that you played the EXACT SAME schedule this year as you did in 2019.  I know, right?  The evidence of me phoning it in was obvious, if you knew where to look).

Anyway, all of you have been very kind in expressing your appreciation for the work I've done, which makes this decision a bit harder.  But my heart really hasn't been in it for some time, and I'm guessing it probably shows.  Nevertheless, I thank you for you support.

And now --- to the bookkeeping.  Here is how the end-of-year accounting comes out for 2021.

• Levi: $300 for the championship, plus winning weeks 10 and 16 comes to $330 --- Check mailed, 1/10/2021
• Jason: $120 for runner-up, plus $0 for no weekly wins comes to $120 --- Check mailed, 1/6/2021
• Adam: $60 for third-place, plus winning weeks 6 and 14 comes to $90 --- Check mailed, 1/6/2021
• Matt: $60 for winning weeks 3, 5, 8 and 12 --- PAID via PayPal, 1/4/2021
• Taylor: $45 for winning weeks 2, 7 and 13
• Pete: $30 for winning weeks 9 and 15 --- Check mailed, 1/15/2021
• Kubicek, Kevin and Merrill: $15 apiece for winning weeks 1 (Kubicek), 4 (Kevin) and 11 (Merrill) --- Check mailed to Kubicek, 1/6/2021, Kevin PAID via PayPal, 1/15/21, Check mailed to Merrill, 1/15/2021
• Myself, Jody and Aaron: Not a damn thing.

The sooner you let me know how you would like to receive payment (check or PayPal), and the address to use, the sooner you'll get paid!

And finally --- here is the draft order for next season --- provided y'all choose to continue playing using the current rules:

1. Orion River Horses
2. Air Apparent
3. Strike Team
4. Golden Graham's
5. The Team Formerly Known As The Psychotic Ninjas
6. Merrill's Marauders
7. Los Diablos
8. Fire Harbaugh
9. ~ AirMex ~
10. Suspended Atomnation
11. The Team Formerly(?) Known As The Craptastics
12. The Leviathans

Thanks for everything, folks; it's been quite a ride.  Who knows --- maybe in another 6 or 7 years, I'll be looking to join a league again.

Happy New Year!

Alvin Kamara is a Leviathan

 

As a wise man once said: "A solid RB can still carry a team to a fantasy title".  Kamara carried Levi to a fantasy title ALL BY HIMSELF

I'd like to start out by thanking --- everyone, I guess --- for NOT making the effort to point out just how mind-bogglingly wrong my last post was.  Kamara had already done his SIX TD dances at the time that I wrote it, putting Jason in an epic hole.

I'm too lazy to look up the league history to figure out whether this was the most lopsided championship game ever.  But I'm confident it's the only time in league history that A SINGLE PLAYER outscored an entire team in a championship game.  Hell, it's probably the only time a player has single-handedly won a game at any point in the season.  Congratulations to Levi for getting to enjoy this epic beatdown.  And I would be remiss if I didn't post my favorite video once again for Jason's benefit (of course, it would have been more appropriate had I posted it on Christmas Day):

It will be hard to come with anything else useful to say after the Kamara/Leviathans title game, but let's see whether maybe I can anyway.

I guess no one should be surprised that Craptastics lost the title game.  For one thing, Jason has held onto that crappy team name for 3 seasons now, so he kind of deserves to be crushed like a styrofoam cup under a circus elephant.  Also, other than a 3-week aberration from weeks 5-7, the Craptastics didn't crack 80 points all season, scored the fourth-fewest points in the league, and backed into the playoffs on a 2-game losing streak.

It's not surprising that Jason lost; it's absolutely STUNNING that he made it as far as he did.

It's a LITTLE bit surprising that AirMatt fell so far, so fast.  He put up the most points in the league, more than 100 more than the next-highest-scoring team (the champion Leviathans), and went into the playoffs with the top seed --- where he promptly dropped two games, including losing the consolation matchup in dramatic fashion.  His 63 startable RBs (or whatever the number was) didn't show up for some reason, and instead was handily defeated by Adam and his backfield of (checks notes) --- Mike Davis and Myles Gaskin.

Okay, then.

As of this writing, there is still one game where the outcome is in doubt: the battle for next year's top pick.  If Pete loses, it will be because he started Darren Waller over Jimmy Graham, and if Taylor loses, it's because he started Diontae Johnson and Antonio Brown over CeeDee Lamb and Nelson Agholor.  Whee!  Fantasy football is fun!

And if Aaron beats Kevin, it will be because Aaron decided, what the heck, let's start Aaron Rodgers at QB, while Kevin decided, what the heck, let's leave Derek Carr on the bench and put his backup in the lineup instead.

This was actually the shark move.  Kevin has already figured out that the 4-slot is the place he wants to be in next year's draft!

It looks like I beat Merrill in the most pointless playoff game, the battle for the fifth overall pick.  Whee.  And to round out the league, Jody fired Harbaugh in more ways than one --- losing the Toilet Bowl to Kubicek, thus guaranteeing that his team will be called something else next year.

Unless Levi flakes and doesn't pick a name for Jody's team.  Because it kind of feels like we don't do that any more.

In any case, congratulations to everyone for making it through the season which I predicted would never happen!  Merry Christmas!  Happy New Year!  Blessed solstice!  Happy Hannukah!  Merry Kwanzaa!  Yippee Festivus!  And similar felicitations and greetings, no matter how you may choose to celebrate the end of one of the most miserable years of our lifetimes!

End of year accounting and whatnot will be available when I damn well feel like it.

This One is for a Substantial Portion of the Marbles

I know I'm coming to this a bit late, but after all it is the holidays.  And with no Thursday game this week, we still have a full slate of games ahead of us.

So ---

After our earlier discussion about past champions, and the fact that we've had a different champion each of the last 7 years, I'm really rooting for Jason to pull off the worst-to-first turnaround this year (except that Jason DIDN'T finish in last place last year --- that was TWO years ago, and yet somehow, his team still has the Craptastics moniker.  Which, I have to say, diminishes my enthusiasm for them a skoche).  I mean, it's a bummer that Kevin and Taylor both got bounced from the first round of the playoffs, but at least Jason still has a shot at winning his first TTFFL title of the modern era!

I haven't looked at the league site recently, but I seem to recall that the system was projecting the title game to be a real nail-biter, with both teams scoring in the mid-70s.  And I know that Jason is starting both Derrick Henry AND Le'Veon Bell!  With CEH out for the Chiefs, that's a 1-2 RB combo that really packs a punch!  And let's face it --- in spite of the popularity of RPOs and the passing game these days, a solid RB can still carry a team to a fantasy title.

And Jason's got TWO of them!  So let's all root for the Craptastics, if for no reason other than if he wins the title, he might think about changing his team name!

Week 13 Playoff Scenarios

Well, let me settle in and get real comfy here, while I analyze all of the various playoff scenarios with one week left in the season ---

These teams will make the playoffs:

• Craptastics (Geez, Jason, 2019 is over.  You can give your team a real name now)
• ~ AirMex ~ (Geez, Matt, Mex hasn't played in this league for three years.  You can give your team a real name now)
• Golden Graham's (Geez, Kevin, your team historically has been anything but 'Golden'.  You can give your team an appropriate name now)
• Leviathans
• Suspended Atomnation
• Air Apparent

These teams will not make the playoffs: Everyone else.

Whew!  What a workout!  And as always, the stupid tiebreaker rules that Kubicek rammed through 3 years ago (or whenever) made it especially difficult to figure out!

What's that you say?  Not enough blather for you?  Okay, let me see if there's anything else worth mentioning.  If not, then I'll mention it.

The Craptastics will be either the #1 or #2 seed.  Thanks to an early-season beatdown by AirMatt, The Craptastics will fall to the #2 position if they lose to AirMatt again by any margin whatsoever.  Otherwise, they take the top seed.

~ AirMatt ~, as mentioned above, can claim the top seed with a victory this week over The Craptastics.  Interestingly enough (speak for yourself, Dave!) --- a loss will drop AirMatt to the #4 seed, thanks to Kubicek's tiebreaker and losses to Golden Grahams, Air Apparent and Leviathans.

Golden Grahams, as noted above, take the #2 seed with a win and an AirMatt loss.  If Golden Grahams and AirMatt both lose, then I don't know what happens, since both teams will be 8-5, along with the winner of the Air Apparent/Leviathans matchup, and possibly Adam as well.  The bottom line appears to be that the #2 seed is kind of up for grabs if AirMatt loses.

Leviathans, Suspended Atomnation, Air Apparent --- you get the idea.

And really, that's all there is to say, since none of the other teams really matter.

Good luck, y'all!

Stuff

Well, I'm at the car dealership, waiting for them to finish doing some maintenance on my car, so I guess I'll do what I can to provide you all with some pernicious nonsense.

For starters, I'd just like to say that I am great at identifying breakout QBs, but not always great at drafting them.  Two years ago, in another league, I was targeting Patrick Mahomes --- I want to say it was in the 8th round.  But no, THREE PICKS BEFORE MINE, dumb old Matt went ahead and sniped him from me.  But I won that league that year anyway.

Last year, I actually managed to draft Lamar Jackson in three leagues --- but succeeded in winning none of them.

This year, I correctly identified Josh Allen as the sleeper QB to draft, but no, dumb old Pete went ahead and sniped him from me in the 10th.

And so, yes.  I am blaming my poor showing thus far this season on Pete stealing Josh Allen from me in the draft, and not the fact that I forget to make waiver wire claims.

On the other hand, I am quite literally stunned to find myself ahead of Merrill in the standings, considering that he successfully acquired Mahomes in a trade which seems heavily weighted in his favor, and then dealt him away in another trade which seemed just as heavily weighted against him.  But honestly, even if I finish 11th overall this season, I will consider it a success if I finish ahead of Merrill, especially considering how shamelessly I've been phoning it in this year.

I mean --- holy crap!  Not only is he behind ME in the standings, but he's trailing the league in scoring!  It would appear that the champions' curse has returned!

Who else can I make fun of?  Well, the obvious next target is Jody, who has managed the amazing feat of scoring the second-most points in the league, and converting them into a league-low two wins.  I mean, you would think it would be mathematically impossible to be second in points scored while losing to me and Merrill, and yet, there he is.  And as bad as it is, it could have been worse.  If Pete had managed to put up just another 1.4 points in week 4, Jody would be 1-8 (and if Taylor had additionally scored just a hair more than 4 points last week, Jody would be winless).

Truly, a stellar display of inefficiency, Jody!

Eh, that's all I've got.  I do like the fact that, with 4 weeks left, it appears that literally everyone is still in contention for a playoff spot --- and literally everyone is still at risk for missing the playoffs.  Matt is leading the league in points scored by a fair margin, but we all know he has shown a Taylor-like ability to fold in the stretch.

Good luck, no one!

Pulling Rank

I've read the room, and we have a draft in about 5 weeks.  So instead of trying to put things through a vote, I'm just going to make an executive decision.

There will be no changes to the basic format of the league.  In the unlikely event that the NFL plays 16 regular season games this year, then the league will play out just like it did last year (with someone other than Merrill winning, obviously).

However, we do need to add one or more IR positions to our rosters to accommodate players who contract the virus.  Please go to the league site to vote on whether we should add one or two such positions.  The poll will close sometime on Sunday, August 9.  Like, around 9:00 PM CT.

That only leaves the detail of finances.  The regular $15 weekly prize for high-point scorer will be paid as usual.  When if the NFL shortens/cancels the season, the money remaining in the prize pool will be divided as follows, depending on when the NFL regular season ends.  If the season ends after ______, then the prize pool will be divided as follows _______:

• Weeks 1-12: Divided equally among all twelve owners
• Week 13: Divided equally among the six playoff teams
• Week 14: Divided equally among the four remaining playoff teams
• Week 15: $217.50 to each team in the title game, $30 to each team in the consolation game

But before we can divide up the money, I need to collect all of it first.  So if you owe dues for 2020, make sure to get them in ASAP!

Check your email for exact amounts due and payment info.